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Do you ever feel .... m
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<blockquote data-quote="Running_for_the_shelter" data-source="post: 433215" data-attributes="member: 2960"><p>My mother certainly did, raising me. She benefited more by talking to the family counselor than I did; that was one of the few tools in the box back then. Here are a few things I wish I could have told her:</p><p></p><p>1. Yeah, everyone wants their kid to fit in, but it's not a reflection on you that your kid got a bum deal with the genetic dice and has a developmental delay/brain defect/whatever term you like to you.</p><p>2. Would you be embarrassed if your kid were in a wheelchair because of a congenital defect? Maybe not so much. It's not much different, Mom -- the only difference is that my problem isn't visible.</p><p>3. I'm doing the best I can. Or, at any rate, other children aren't working harder than I am at behaving. It just comes naturally to them, but it doesn't to me.</p><p>4. Having the "electrical storm" in my brain that makes me get mad when other people wouldn't doesn't feel good to me, either, but I don't know how to make it stop. [Side note: They didn't have good medications for that when I was a kid, but my son is a happier person for Lamictal.]</p><p>5. The space between stimulus and response is essentially zero for me. That's why I whack people when I get mad -- I don't even know to stop and think first. That function is just gone. However, I'll develop more space as I grow and then I can learn some better responses.</p><p>6. Life is really, really hard for me. Please let me know you love me even though I'm a pain.</p><p>7. Please remember that I didn't choose to be this way. No one would.</p><p>8. Finally, you need to get some help for yourself, Mom. A good therapist is good; maybe even some medications because you're depressed and have no energy anymore.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Running_for_the_shelter, post: 433215, member: 2960"] My mother certainly did, raising me. She benefited more by talking to the family counselor than I did; that was one of the few tools in the box back then. Here are a few things I wish I could have told her: 1. Yeah, everyone wants their kid to fit in, but it's not a reflection on you that your kid got a bum deal with the genetic dice and has a developmental delay/brain defect/whatever term you like to you. 2. Would you be embarrassed if your kid were in a wheelchair because of a congenital defect? Maybe not so much. It's not much different, Mom -- the only difference is that my problem isn't visible. 3. I'm doing the best I can. Or, at any rate, other children aren't working harder than I am at behaving. It just comes naturally to them, but it doesn't to me. 4. Having the "electrical storm" in my brain that makes me get mad when other people wouldn't doesn't feel good to me, either, but I don't know how to make it stop. [Side note: They didn't have good medications for that when I was a kid, but my son is a happier person for Lamictal.] 5. The space between stimulus and response is essentially zero for me. That's why I whack people when I get mad -- I don't even know to stop and think first. That function is just gone. However, I'll develop more space as I grow and then I can learn some better responses. 6. Life is really, really hard for me. Please let me know you love me even though I'm a pain. 7. Please remember that I didn't choose to be this way. No one would. 8. Finally, you need to get some help for yourself, Mom. A good therapist is good; maybe even some medications because you're depressed and have no energy anymore. [/QUOTE]
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