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General Parenting
Do you get tired of the chase?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 265500" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I only did that for a couple of years. The years difficult child had teachers who did everything they could to break him, to make him miserable, those years I was miserable each day while he was in school. When I finally realized that NOTHING I did for that school or those teachers would be "good enough" simply because they hated my son then I made other plans. I truly mean a couple of teachers hated my son, and one hated me for reasons I still do not know. They did so much damage to my young child in 1st and 2nd grade that I removed him from school altogether for 2 years. We restarted in a different school district and I refused to let my emotions be determined by his.</p><p></p><p>It just is not healthy, in my opinion, to let your emotions be dictated by whether your child is happy or not. It is good to show sympathy, and to be sympathetic to a degree, but letting your emotions be determined by your child's emotions means you will never be happy and your child will not learn to be independent. We need to set examples for our kids, in my opinion. One of them being to show our children that they can be happy even if a friend is happy or sad. That they can CHOOSE to be happy or sad is an invaluable lesson.</p><p></p><p>Also, if I had let my difficult child's happiness or sadness dictate my emotions then I would always have been in a doom and gloom mood for several years. NOT how I wanted to feel.</p><p></p><p>If you are always that caught up in how your child feels, you might want to talk to a therapist about codependence or being enmeshed with your child.</p><p></p><p>I don't mean this in a harsh way, it is just a suggestion. It is part of how I kept my sanity (such as it is) through all of what we experienced with Wiz.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 265500, member: 1233"] I only did that for a couple of years. The years difficult child had teachers who did everything they could to break him, to make him miserable, those years I was miserable each day while he was in school. When I finally realized that NOTHING I did for that school or those teachers would be "good enough" simply because they hated my son then I made other plans. I truly mean a couple of teachers hated my son, and one hated me for reasons I still do not know. They did so much damage to my young child in 1st and 2nd grade that I removed him from school altogether for 2 years. We restarted in a different school district and I refused to let my emotions be determined by his. It just is not healthy, in my opinion, to let your emotions be dictated by whether your child is happy or not. It is good to show sympathy, and to be sympathetic to a degree, but letting your emotions be determined by your child's emotions means you will never be happy and your child will not learn to be independent. We need to set examples for our kids, in my opinion. One of them being to show our children that they can be happy even if a friend is happy or sad. That they can CHOOSE to be happy or sad is an invaluable lesson. Also, if I had let my difficult child's happiness or sadness dictate my emotions then I would always have been in a doom and gloom mood for several years. NOT how I wanted to feel. If you are always that caught up in how your child feels, you might want to talk to a therapist about codependence or being enmeshed with your child. I don't mean this in a harsh way, it is just a suggestion. It is part of how I kept my sanity (such as it is) through all of what we experienced with Wiz. [/QUOTE]
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