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General Parenting
Do you make provisions at home for your difficult child?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 210618" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I often use the example of how you would handle the situation if the child were blind. If a blind child broke a glass because it was too easily knocked off the edge of the table, you wouldn't punish. But if the blind child picked up the glass and deliberately threw it to break it - yes, you would punish that.</p><p></p><p>Similarly, you shouldn't punish a blind child for failing to copy accurately form the blackboard at school, and yet a lot of schools have this contradictory attitude to difficult children at school, punishing them for things they cannot control or change.</p><p></p><p>However, that doesn't mean you leave the blind child to do no schoolwork or to not have the chance to learn - no, you put strategies in pace to help the child access learning by taking their disability into account and making necessary modifications.</p><p></p><p>A friend of mine, about my age, was born physically disabled and believed to also be mentally handicapped. At school she says she was "left", no allowances were made but no demands were made either. She had a lot of absences due to health issues and barely got a 1st grade education by the time she left when she would have been about 8 or 9. She has since been married, raised two boys, finally divorced her abusive husband and despite increasing disability now lives alone with a lot of government support services which she has organised for herself). She recently wrong a book which I edited and published for her and in the process taught herself how to use a computer. She still drives a car although it's getting increasingly difficult as she deteriorates physically.</p><p></p><p>We need to be realistic in our expectations, to be supportive of our childrens' needs but to also hold them to expectations within their capabilities in order for them to grow and develop further. </p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 210618, member: 1991"] I often use the example of how you would handle the situation if the child were blind. If a blind child broke a glass because it was too easily knocked off the edge of the table, you wouldn't punish. But if the blind child picked up the glass and deliberately threw it to break it - yes, you would punish that. Similarly, you shouldn't punish a blind child for failing to copy accurately form the blackboard at school, and yet a lot of schools have this contradictory attitude to difficult children at school, punishing them for things they cannot control or change. However, that doesn't mean you leave the blind child to do no schoolwork or to not have the chance to learn - no, you put strategies in pace to help the child access learning by taking their disability into account and making necessary modifications. A friend of mine, about my age, was born physically disabled and believed to also be mentally handicapped. At school she says she was "left", no allowances were made but no demands were made either. She had a lot of absences due to health issues and barely got a 1st grade education by the time she left when she would have been about 8 or 9. She has since been married, raised two boys, finally divorced her abusive husband and despite increasing disability now lives alone with a lot of government support services which she has organised for herself). She recently wrong a book which I edited and published for her and in the process taught herself how to use a computer. She still drives a car although it's getting increasingly difficult as she deteriorates physically. We need to be realistic in our expectations, to be supportive of our childrens' needs but to also hold them to expectations within their capabilities in order for them to grow and develop further. Marg [/QUOTE]
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Do you make provisions at home for your difficult child?
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