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General Parenting
do you talk to your difficult child about their diagnosis or symptoms?
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<blockquote data-quote="MuM_of_OCD_kiddo" data-source="post: 462792" data-attributes="member: 12241"><p>I'd say that all depends on the age and maturity level. Under tennish, pre-teens, early ages - no, other than the most basic need-to-know stuff. I would continue to work on behavior issues, medications if recommeded, maybe food changes, vitamins - overall healthier, sane-r living.</p><p></p><p>Teens is a whole different can of worms, as on top of the actual issues and individual personality - you are dealing with peer pressure, fluffy-between-the-ears stages due to hormones and puberty, stretching wings and becoming independant etc. I would talk with them subject to the maturity level - but definitely on a more grown up level. This is the age where they approach "owning" their problematic behavior and where it can have long term serious side effects caused by problematic behavior [criminal records, substance abuse, teen pregnancy, STDs, etc].</p><p></p><p>16 and beyond - absolutely. They are a step or two away from adulthood and need to learn not only to live with their issues, they need to own them and realize that it is on them to make successful changes. In reality - nobody cares as much as you and the immediate family about the wellbeing of your difficult child = and they need to deal with the fact that once they are stepping outside this warm and cozy and protective circle, life will throw them a curveball and they need to be mentally and emotionally prepared to deal with it [or at least begin to learn how to if you want them eventually have a productive life of their own].</p><p></p><p>That said - I think the personality is also important when you talk about their issues, some kids have low self esteem, are worrywarts, anxious about the way others perceive them, or can be downright depressed. In that case gentle support and encouragement is probably more appropriate than a more direct approach. You also won't be able to reach them all the time - my son refused to talk about his issues for the most time, or I would often have onesided monologues. Imagine my surprise when out of the blue specks of understanding would pop up, or he'd make an effort to handle situations better [owning his problems] and to try improve the outcome. Somewhere along the time he was listening, he just had to come to that conclusion on his own time. So even if you think you are talking for nothing, chances are s/he hears you but is not yet ready to process or deal with it. So keep on talking, never mind how redundant you think it might be at times...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="MuM_of_OCD_kiddo, post: 462792, member: 12241"] I'd say that all depends on the age and maturity level. Under tennish, pre-teens, early ages - no, other than the most basic need-to-know stuff. I would continue to work on behavior issues, medications if recommeded, maybe food changes, vitamins - overall healthier, sane-r living. Teens is a whole different can of worms, as on top of the actual issues and individual personality - you are dealing with peer pressure, fluffy-between-the-ears stages due to hormones and puberty, stretching wings and becoming independant etc. I would talk with them subject to the maturity level - but definitely on a more grown up level. This is the age where they approach "owning" their problematic behavior and where it can have long term serious side effects caused by problematic behavior [criminal records, substance abuse, teen pregnancy, STDs, etc]. 16 and beyond - absolutely. They are a step or two away from adulthood and need to learn not only to live with their issues, they need to own them and realize that it is on them to make successful changes. In reality - nobody cares as much as you and the immediate family about the wellbeing of your difficult child = and they need to deal with the fact that once they are stepping outside this warm and cozy and protective circle, life will throw them a curveball and they need to be mentally and emotionally prepared to deal with it [or at least begin to learn how to if you want them eventually have a productive life of their own]. That said - I think the personality is also important when you talk about their issues, some kids have low self esteem, are worrywarts, anxious about the way others perceive them, or can be downright depressed. In that case gentle support and encouragement is probably more appropriate than a more direct approach. You also won't be able to reach them all the time - my son refused to talk about his issues for the most time, or I would often have onesided monologues. Imagine my surprise when out of the blue specks of understanding would pop up, or he'd make an effort to handle situations better [owning his problems] and to try improve the outcome. Somewhere along the time he was listening, he just had to come to that conclusion on his own time. So even if you think you are talking for nothing, chances are s/he hears you but is not yet ready to process or deal with it. So keep on talking, never mind how redundant you think it might be at times... [/QUOTE]
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do you talk to your difficult child about their diagnosis or symptoms?
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