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Doctor for diagnoses.
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<blockquote data-quote="PollyParent" data-source="post: 87213" data-attributes="member: 3822"><p>Your son sounds very much like mine.</p><p></p><p>You've landed in the right place; there are a lot of VERY experienced folks on this board who will help you through this process. First of all, take a break from blaming yourself. Yeah, you could be doing things better, but on the other hand, part of parenting a kid like this is knowing where to pick your battles. SO sometimes my son "gets away with" stuff that his sisters would never dream of doing. But it's not all bad parenting, so give yourself a break and focus on what the kid needs. </p><p></p><p>Mine was initially designated as Emotionally Disturbed by the School District (SD), but with further analysis and private evaluations, I have been able to request that his designation be changed to Asperger's with Anxiety.</p><p></p><p>In my experience ED becomes something of a catch-all designation, as in, we don't know what it is, but we can get him in this box for right now. I wouldn't stay in that box if you can get a deeper understanding of WHAT is driving that behavior.</p><p></p><p>Schools tend to focus on behavior, but they often miss the connection that the behavior is often CAUSED by an underlying disability, perhaps a cognitive deficit in social perception.</p><p></p><p>My son is generally defiant when he is frustrated or anxious (or doesn't like the adults he is around) or when he doesn't understand WHY he should have to do X, Y, or Z. The defiance is NOT the disability in our case, it is the major symptom of the disability, which for us is Asperger's.</p><p></p><p>It took us a long time to land at Asperger's and I still believe there are elements of Early Onset Bipolar Disorder going on too, but it's been hard to crack one disability apart from the other.</p><p></p><p>I would suggest asking your pediatrician for a consult, explaining the child's behavior and your discomfort with the school diagnosis. You can ask for a referral to a pediatric psychiatrist to begin the process of a neuroevaluation, or you cna request, in writing, that the SD take part in an IEE (Independent Expert (Educational?) Evaluation).</p><p></p><p>Speech and language delay, along with raging when frustrated are hallmark signs of Asperger's and a few other disabilities. (I'm a little tired just now, as I'm up late cramming for my son's IEP in teh morning. If I were more awake, I could rattle off the names of some other disabilities.</p><p></p><p>Does your child have friends? Does he do well in a group? Is there a particular topic in school which sets him off? Or a task?</p><p></p><p>Your school district needs to provide for your son. They can't tell you to take him somewhere else -- THEY have the responsibility here. They also have the responsibility to Make Accommodations For His Disability, not blame him for his behavior. The courts do not look kindly on that sort of behavior from School Districts. The "Least Restrictive Environment" is the GenEd classroom in his own district. It's the school district's responsibility to make that work for him, or to provide an appropriate setting outside of that classroom.</p><p></p><p>More people will come along and comment too. There are some great resources here. Keep asking questions. </p><p></p><p>PollyParent</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="PollyParent, post: 87213, member: 3822"] Your son sounds very much like mine. You've landed in the right place; there are a lot of VERY experienced folks on this board who will help you through this process. First of all, take a break from blaming yourself. Yeah, you could be doing things better, but on the other hand, part of parenting a kid like this is knowing where to pick your battles. SO sometimes my son "gets away with" stuff that his sisters would never dream of doing. But it's not all bad parenting, so give yourself a break and focus on what the kid needs. Mine was initially designated as Emotionally Disturbed by the School District (SD), but with further analysis and private evaluations, I have been able to request that his designation be changed to Asperger's with Anxiety. In my experience ED becomes something of a catch-all designation, as in, we don't know what it is, but we can get him in this box for right now. I wouldn't stay in that box if you can get a deeper understanding of WHAT is driving that behavior. Schools tend to focus on behavior, but they often miss the connection that the behavior is often CAUSED by an underlying disability, perhaps a cognitive deficit in social perception. My son is generally defiant when he is frustrated or anxious (or doesn't like the adults he is around) or when he doesn't understand WHY he should have to do X, Y, or Z. The defiance is NOT the disability in our case, it is the major symptom of the disability, which for us is Asperger's. It took us a long time to land at Asperger's and I still believe there are elements of Early Onset Bipolar Disorder going on too, but it's been hard to crack one disability apart from the other. I would suggest asking your pediatrician for a consult, explaining the child's behavior and your discomfort with the school diagnosis. You can ask for a referral to a pediatric psychiatrist to begin the process of a neuroevaluation, or you cna request, in writing, that the SD take part in an IEE (Independent Expert (Educational?) Evaluation). Speech and language delay, along with raging when frustrated are hallmark signs of Asperger's and a few other disabilities. (I'm a little tired just now, as I'm up late cramming for my son's IEP in teh morning. If I were more awake, I could rattle off the names of some other disabilities. Does your child have friends? Does he do well in a group? Is there a particular topic in school which sets him off? Or a task? Your school district needs to provide for your son. They can't tell you to take him somewhere else -- THEY have the responsibility here. They also have the responsibility to Make Accommodations For His Disability, not blame him for his behavior. The courts do not look kindly on that sort of behavior from School Districts. The "Least Restrictive Environment" is the GenEd classroom in his own district. It's the school district's responsibility to make that work for him, or to provide an appropriate setting outside of that classroom. More people will come along and comment too. There are some great resources here. Keep asking questions. PollyParent [/QUOTE]
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