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General Parenting
Does any one else's difficult child do this?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 365655" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Even when I can see the reason WHY the person lied it still doesn't make sense to me. I just cannot grasp why difficult children make up such huge lies. I have one family member who told us about a rape that had happened while this person attended a Catholic school. By a certain priest who HAS raped the children at this school during the time period this person attended it. This priest made international news as part of a number of priests who were all caught and convicted around the same time in the OH/IN/KY area. This person DID know victims of this priest. Of course this rape came up when the person was in trouble. The person begged and pleaded for several of us to not tell anyone else under any circumstances. We each got a different version of events and even a different age when it started and stopped. Many years later the card was played again to someone who did not keep it a secret, but instead tried to rally the closest relatives to support and help this person. THAT is when we learned the stories were very very different. We also learned from another family member that the "victim" had bragged about lying about something "truly huge, enormous, guaranteed to get me off with-o any punishment from anything". I was not that family member but was the only one who believed that family member. A few years later the "victim" fessed up to the lies as a way to excuse very bad actions. The "victim" had the nerve to tell us that the lies caused so much guilt that these other bad actions were done both as a self punishment and as a distraction from the "constant guilt".</p><p></p><p>Of course once this person confessed it was instantly forgiven and never to be mentioned again. </p><p></p><p>I don't think I will ever really understand this kind of thing. You have to be a current difficult child to understand it. in my opinion anyway.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 365655, member: 1233"] Even when I can see the reason WHY the person lied it still doesn't make sense to me. I just cannot grasp why difficult children make up such huge lies. I have one family member who told us about a rape that had happened while this person attended a Catholic school. By a certain priest who HAS raped the children at this school during the time period this person attended it. This priest made international news as part of a number of priests who were all caught and convicted around the same time in the OH/IN/KY area. This person DID know victims of this priest. Of course this rape came up when the person was in trouble. The person begged and pleaded for several of us to not tell anyone else under any circumstances. We each got a different version of events and even a different age when it started and stopped. Many years later the card was played again to someone who did not keep it a secret, but instead tried to rally the closest relatives to support and help this person. THAT is when we learned the stories were very very different. We also learned from another family member that the "victim" had bragged about lying about something "truly huge, enormous, guaranteed to get me off with-o any punishment from anything". I was not that family member but was the only one who believed that family member. A few years later the "victim" fessed up to the lies as a way to excuse very bad actions. The "victim" had the nerve to tell us that the lies caused so much guilt that these other bad actions were done both as a self punishment and as a distraction from the "constant guilt". Of course once this person confessed it was instantly forgiven and never to be mentioned again. I don't think I will ever really understand this kind of thing. You have to be a current difficult child to understand it. in my opinion anyway. [/QUOTE]
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