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Does anyone else do this? How do I stop?!?
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 634308" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>When you are in crisis, and you don't yet have a daily practice of using your toolbox, it is really hard to stop the obsessive thinking and acting.</p><p></p><p>But, there is no time like the present to start using your toolbox. </p><p></p><p>Today, just do one thing different. Sit down and write a gratitude list of five things you are grateful for today. That is an instant blood pressure reducer.</p><p></p><p>Tomorrow, get the schedule of Al-Anon meetings in your area, and try to go to one. </p><p></p><p>The next day, Buy Co-Dependent No More or drag it back out and read two chapters in it. </p><p></p><p>This is a one day at a time thing. One inch at a time, often.</p><p></p><p>While you are taking new steps, you will still be obsessing. It's impossible to just stop, especially in a crisis. The fear runs deep. </p><p></p><p>So, also, every day, perform some kindnesses for yourself. Take a nap, take a walk, go to lunch with a friend. Whatever you can think of that is good for YOU, do it. One thing every day.</p><p></p><p>Over time, the good stuff will start to take over, and the bad stuff will decline. If you will do this---this is a proven formula for changing the way we think, our attitudes, our perceptions, and ultimately our actions. It likely will not change our feelings. We have to learn how to feel our feelings, realize that feelings aren't facts, and not act on them.</p><p></p><p>It's going to be okay. You are here on this board and you know that you want to change the way you have responded to difficult child in the past. </p><p></p><p>Knowing this, and wanting to change, is huge. Warm hugs. We are here for you. Progress, not perfection.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 634308, member: 17542"] When you are in crisis, and you don't yet have a daily practice of using your toolbox, it is really hard to stop the obsessive thinking and acting. But, there is no time like the present to start using your toolbox. Today, just do one thing different. Sit down and write a gratitude list of five things you are grateful for today. That is an instant blood pressure reducer. Tomorrow, get the schedule of Al-Anon meetings in your area, and try to go to one. The next day, Buy Co-Dependent No More or drag it back out and read two chapters in it. This is a one day at a time thing. One inch at a time, often. While you are taking new steps, you will still be obsessing. It's impossible to just stop, especially in a crisis. The fear runs deep. So, also, every day, perform some kindnesses for yourself. Take a nap, take a walk, go to lunch with a friend. Whatever you can think of that is good for YOU, do it. One thing every day. Over time, the good stuff will start to take over, and the bad stuff will decline. If you will do this---this is a proven formula for changing the way we think, our attitudes, our perceptions, and ultimately our actions. It likely will not change our feelings. We have to learn how to feel our feelings, realize that feelings aren't facts, and not act on them. It's going to be okay. You are here on this board and you know that you want to change the way you have responded to difficult child in the past. Knowing this, and wanting to change, is huge. Warm hugs. We are here for you. Progress, not perfection. [/QUOTE]
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Does anyone else do this? How do I stop?!?
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