OH! I wanted to add: difficult child's therapist just prescribed arguing therapy for my and difficult child. For my difficult child it's about a lack of control - I'm sure that's not uncommon. So when she starts, I'm to say, "You know, it seems you really need to argue. We need to schedule some arguing time. Go ahead. You start." Or something along those lines. Puts the control back in my court cause if she argues, she's doing what I told her to do and if not then we've accomplished what I set out to.
I did ask her therapist how I'm supposed to do that with a straight face. She really didn't have an answer....
