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Parent Emeritus
Does anyone remember "Goodnight, Moon"?
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<blockquote data-quote="CAmom" data-source="post: 36297" data-attributes="member: 1835"><p>Barbara, my son (and we) also loved that book.</p><p></p><p>I can relate to so much of what you said (beautifully, as usual...). </p><p></p><p>Like you, my child and my family gave me all the joy and satisfaction I wanted or needed at one time. And, yes, I guess I felt a bit smug as well. </p><p></p><p>For the past three years, since all the trouble with our son began, and especially when it culminated in his being removed from our home and placed in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC), I had gradually divorced myself from all the joy I ever felt in my son and our family, spending most of my time feeling like a complete and utter failure because I felt that his problems had to be MY fault in some way. I even got to the point where I went through our house, removing all the pictures of my son as a beautiful newborn, baby, toddler, preschooler, etc. because it was just too painful for me to be reminded of those precious times on a daily basis in the context of our current situation. </p><p></p><p>I can't remember exactly when I had my "lightbulb" moment such as the one you had, but I remember that it was intense. At that moment, I accepted the fact that, even if we were not the "perfect" parents (which we certainly were NOT!), we did the absolute best we could for our son, given who he is and who we are, and did so out of complete, unconditional, and selfless (at least it felt that way at the time...) love for him.</p><p></p><p>Accepting that allowed me the freedom to heal somewhat, at least to the point where I could enjoy myself and my husband again, and we've picked up (mostly...) where we left off 17 1/2 years ago, before our son arrived. And I also replaced all those pictures that I had put out of sight because I felt that, despite what very real and serious issues were happening in our lives at that moment, those pictures reflected just as real but beautiful moments in our lives as well, and denying them would be to deny that those moments ever existed. Then, I even dug out all our old videos and watched every one of them! </p><p></p><p>PS I'm STILL in favor of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups over M&M's, but, hey, to each, his own!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CAmom, post: 36297, member: 1835"] Barbara, my son (and we) also loved that book. I can relate to so much of what you said (beautifully, as usual...). Like you, my child and my family gave me all the joy and satisfaction I wanted or needed at one time. And, yes, I guess I felt a bit smug as well. For the past three years, since all the trouble with our son began, and especially when it culminated in his being removed from our home and placed in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC), I had gradually divorced myself from all the joy I ever felt in my son and our family, spending most of my time feeling like a complete and utter failure because I felt that his problems had to be MY fault in some way. I even got to the point where I went through our house, removing all the pictures of my son as a beautiful newborn, baby, toddler, preschooler, etc. because it was just too painful for me to be reminded of those precious times on a daily basis in the context of our current situation. I can't remember exactly when I had my "lightbulb" moment such as the one you had, but I remember that it was intense. At that moment, I accepted the fact that, even if we were not the "perfect" parents (which we certainly were NOT!), we did the absolute best we could for our son, given who he is and who we are, and did so out of complete, unconditional, and selfless (at least it felt that way at the time...) love for him. Accepting that allowed me the freedom to heal somewhat, at least to the point where I could enjoy myself and my husband again, and we've picked up (mostly...) where we left off 17 1/2 years ago, before our son arrived. And I also replaced all those pictures that I had put out of sight because I felt that, despite what very real and serious issues were happening in our lives at that moment, those pictures reflected just as real but beautiful moments in our lives as well, and denying them would be to deny that those moments ever existed. Then, I even dug out all our old videos and watched every one of them! PS I'm STILL in favor of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups over M&M's, but, hey, to each, his own! [/QUOTE]
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Does anyone remember "Goodnight, Moon"?
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