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Does anyone remember "Goodnight, Moon"?
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<blockquote data-quote="rejectedmom" data-source="post: 36669" data-attributes="member: 2315"><p>I used to not talk about difficult child's problems. I was ashamed of his behaviors. No one ever knew that he went missing while I was waiting on word of my daughter who had an emergency c-section and the fate of her premature baby. difficult child was off having sex with a girl down the street. He snucck back in the house at 6:30 am the next day. I had just finished filing a missing person's report with the state troopers. </p><p>I bucked up went to work and put a joyous face on and showed off pictures of my newest grandchild. I never spoke of the horror of my difficult child's selfishness and the pain and suffering he caused to my fellow collegues.</p><p></p><p>After difficult child's spiral down and his assault on me, I had people, both friends and family, tell me that I could not talk about him at gatherings when others asked about him. That these were happy times and talk of difficult child brought them down. So my pain was very much hidden.</p><p></p><p>Now I am very open about my difficult child. I tell of the opportunities he was given and how he is unable to do what needs to be done to be successful. Maybe because I do say that I adopted him, I don't know, but people are very kind and sympathetic. Most offer to pray for him. I do not go into longwinded detail and I am not emotional when I talk about him. I calmly try to use my experience to educate people that good families can have kids with problems. I tell about how it is hard to find good services for mentally ill people especially when they are children. I advocate quietly and nudgingly. I believe and I hope that if all parents and friends and neighbors do this lovingly eventually the harsh sterotypes that are projected upon us as parents of difficult children will be erroded away. </p><p></p><p>I do tell funny stories about the precious moments in difficult child's life. He isn't all bad none of our kids are. It is Ok to remember the good times and feelings that we experienced when our difficult children were growing up. It s good to be able to say that we have some wonderful memories.</p><p></p><p>I think it is important to tell of our difficult child's successes also when we tell of thier problems. I think that way people get a better perception of our difficult children and can feel appropriate sadness of a life lost and not just the anger and frustration. . -RM</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rejectedmom, post: 36669, member: 2315"] I used to not talk about difficult child's problems. I was ashamed of his behaviors. No one ever knew that he went missing while I was waiting on word of my daughter who had an emergency c-section and the fate of her premature baby. difficult child was off having sex with a girl down the street. He snucck back in the house at 6:30 am the next day. I had just finished filing a missing person's report with the state troopers. I bucked up went to work and put a joyous face on and showed off pictures of my newest grandchild. I never spoke of the horror of my difficult child's selfishness and the pain and suffering he caused to my fellow collegues. After difficult child's spiral down and his assault on me, I had people, both friends and family, tell me that I could not talk about him at gatherings when others asked about him. That these were happy times and talk of difficult child brought them down. So my pain was very much hidden. Now I am very open about my difficult child. I tell of the opportunities he was given and how he is unable to do what needs to be done to be successful. Maybe because I do say that I adopted him, I don't know, but people are very kind and sympathetic. Most offer to pray for him. I do not go into longwinded detail and I am not emotional when I talk about him. I calmly try to use my experience to educate people that good families can have kids with problems. I tell about how it is hard to find good services for mentally ill people especially when they are children. I advocate quietly and nudgingly. I believe and I hope that if all parents and friends and neighbors do this lovingly eventually the harsh sterotypes that are projected upon us as parents of difficult children will be erroded away. I do tell funny stories about the precious moments in difficult child's life. He isn't all bad none of our kids are. It is Ok to remember the good times and feelings that we experienced when our difficult children were growing up. It s good to be able to say that we have some wonderful memories. I think it is important to tell of our difficult child's successes also when we tell of thier problems. I think that way people get a better perception of our difficult children and can feel appropriate sadness of a life lost and not just the anger and frustration. . -RM [/QUOTE]
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Does anyone remember "Goodnight, Moon"?
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