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General Parenting
does he have remorse???
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<blockquote data-quote="Ktllc" data-source="post: 434820" data-attributes="member: 11847"><p>I have been observing difficult child a lot lately and does not seem to have true remorse. When I say true, I mean coming from the heart, from inside him. It more him shooting "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" once he knows he has been "caught". It's like he is sorry because there are going to be consequences, not because of what he has done. He will also systematically lie and denie any wrong doing. The only way for him to admit it is by presenting strong evidence that we know (exemple: show him food he threw in the garbage instead of eating it). The other day (once again he fed his food to the dogs and I was sure of it 'cause the dogs had not cleaned up everything) I asked him if he finished his snack. He told me yes, quite proud. I asked him if he felt good inside, for showing such a good behavior, for eating everything like a good boy. He told me yes with a big smile. So I wnet on and asked if was really feeling that good or maybe he had something he wanted to tell me (I laid it pretty thick!) and... nope.... nothing!!! Just a happy boy that had no clue I knew. I did not confront him and he never confessed or looked like he was uncomfortable.</p><p>How do you teach remorse??? I know he is capable of empathy as long as he is not involved in the situation (exemple: his brother falls and hurts himself. difficult child will ask how he feels and consol him). But if he is the cause of the problem/situation I think he only gets upset because of the consequences...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ktllc, post: 434820, member: 11847"] I have been observing difficult child a lot lately and does not seem to have true remorse. When I say true, I mean coming from the heart, from inside him. It more him shooting "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" once he knows he has been "caught". It's like he is sorry because there are going to be consequences, not because of what he has done. He will also systematically lie and denie any wrong doing. The only way for him to admit it is by presenting strong evidence that we know (exemple: show him food he threw in the garbage instead of eating it). The other day (once again he fed his food to the dogs and I was sure of it 'cause the dogs had not cleaned up everything) I asked him if he finished his snack. He told me yes, quite proud. I asked him if he felt good inside, for showing such a good behavior, for eating everything like a good boy. He told me yes with a big smile. So I wnet on and asked if was really feeling that good or maybe he had something he wanted to tell me (I laid it pretty thick!) and... nope.... nothing!!! Just a happy boy that had no clue I knew. I did not confront him and he never confessed or looked like he was uncomfortable. How do you teach remorse??? I know he is capable of empathy as long as he is not involved in the situation (exemple: his brother falls and hurts himself. difficult child will ask how he feels and consol him). But if he is the cause of the problem/situation I think he only gets upset because of the consequences... [/QUOTE]
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