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General Parenting
does he have remorse???
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 434823" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>I do empathise. I experience some of this with my little boy. In fact, I was wondering it tonight - not remorse, but how do you teach that lying is wrong, undesirable, etc? </p><p>I fear and imagine that any such teaching or learning will take a LONG time, and many, many repetitions before it takes any hold. </p><p>On the other hand, to a degree we have to consider it from the child's point of view, I think. Is throwing away food that he doesn't want to eat "wrong" in a 4 year old's eyes? One could argue that it is a most intelligent course of action if he doesn't want to eat it! He then knows you will be cross and he lies to avoid this... that's the problematic bit, isn't it? I wouldn't expect any 4 year old to feel genuine "remorse" about this... The only method I find with this is to say to my son gently but firmly that I will NOT be cross but I would like him to tell me the truth. He will eventually do so if I continue in this friendly, non-confrontational tone. </p><p>Sorry not to have more mind-blowing advice! Let me know if you discover any breakthroughs yourself on this one <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 434823, member: 11227"] I do empathise. I experience some of this with my little boy. In fact, I was wondering it tonight - not remorse, but how do you teach that lying is wrong, undesirable, etc? I fear and imagine that any such teaching or learning will take a LONG time, and many, many repetitions before it takes any hold. On the other hand, to a degree we have to consider it from the child's point of view, I think. Is throwing away food that he doesn't want to eat "wrong" in a 4 year old's eyes? One could argue that it is a most intelligent course of action if he doesn't want to eat it! He then knows you will be cross and he lies to avoid this... that's the problematic bit, isn't it? I wouldn't expect any 4 year old to feel genuine "remorse" about this... The only method I find with this is to say to my son gently but firmly that I will NOT be cross but I would like him to tell me the truth. He will eventually do so if I continue in this friendly, non-confrontational tone. Sorry not to have more mind-blowing advice! Let me know if you discover any breakthroughs yourself on this one :-) [/QUOTE]
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