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General Parenting
Does He Think This Is A Threat?
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 513775" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>I only have one kid, but I get what you are saying. I imagine it depends on how you define it too. I mean, there are some things that in the homes of any person with a disability are going to be permanently changed (difficult child centered I guess) as a family system. One is not going to allow foods or animals that can cause allergic reactions etc. One is not going to do sudden transitions if it is well known that their neurological system can't handle it and it would cause epic issues that make life no fun for anyone, one is not going to talk in long complicated sentences when communicating about things that difficult child is to be included on....</p><p></p><p>But, within those parameters, the activities chosen and the focus of the activity does need to rotate. I have many shopping trips where we buy gifts for others and Q is NOT allowed to buy anything. It is about the person we are going to celebrate with. When at their party (family usually) he can do what calms him...be in a separate room during singing etc.... but he can't dictate when we sing. </p><p></p><p>I dont know if that even applies to any of this, but I do think it is important to teach them to their ability, that we need to consider other people. All the while honoring the fact that there are genuine limitations and things we must arrange for, and that is not their fault or selfishness on their part. Disabled people do need extra time and care and consideration. It just is that way. Managing that without teaching them to feel entitled is tricky. easy child's and other people in general do need attention, their feelings are every bit as important. Balancing that all out, I can't imagine being a parent to one. I dont envy you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 513775, member: 12886"] I only have one kid, but I get what you are saying. I imagine it depends on how you define it too. I mean, there are some things that in the homes of any person with a disability are going to be permanently changed (difficult child centered I guess) as a family system. One is not going to allow foods or animals that can cause allergic reactions etc. One is not going to do sudden transitions if it is well known that their neurological system can't handle it and it would cause epic issues that make life no fun for anyone, one is not going to talk in long complicated sentences when communicating about things that difficult child is to be included on.... But, within those parameters, the activities chosen and the focus of the activity does need to rotate. I have many shopping trips where we buy gifts for others and Q is NOT allowed to buy anything. It is about the person we are going to celebrate with. When at their party (family usually) he can do what calms him...be in a separate room during singing etc.... but he can't dictate when we sing. I dont know if that even applies to any of this, but I do think it is important to teach them to their ability, that we need to consider other people. All the while honoring the fact that there are genuine limitations and things we must arrange for, and that is not their fault or selfishness on their part. Disabled people do need extra time and care and consideration. It just is that way. Managing that without teaching them to feel entitled is tricky. easy child's and other people in general do need attention, their feelings are every bit as important. Balancing that all out, I can't imagine being a parent to one. I dont envy you. [/QUOTE]
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