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Does It Really Ever Get Easier
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<blockquote data-quote="4timmy" data-source="post: 243405" data-attributes="member: 6553"><p>Ditto on The Explosive Child.... my difficult child is 10 too and lately he hasn't been having these meltdowns before school, but it could come back!! The last ones were a couple of weeks ago. He will get dressed and then at the last minute decide he doesn't want to wear the clothes he has on, goes upstairs, pulls out all the clothes and throws them on the floor, and cries while he's trying to find something to wear.</p><p> </p><p>It may or may not be a sensory issues with socks. If it's socks he's complaining about every day, then, well, it's probably a sensory thing. However, with my difficult child it changes. I think it was perhaps anxiety about going to school... who really knows? It could be a combo sensory/anxiety issue (??) I'm grasping at straws too. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite5" alt=":confused:" title="Confused :confused:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":confused:" /></p><p> </p><p>I guess the trick here is to find ways to keep these meltdowns from happening. Maybe the night before you talk to him about which socks he wants to wear.... give him a choice between 2 outfits or something. My difficult child has to wear all cotton. He hates anything itchy.... interestingly enough, I'm the same way. It's just that I know that about myself and control what I buy and wear. Get him to communicate as much as you can when he's not having the meltdown. (I know, ....hard to do). The book The Explosive child will teach you to prioritize how you handle different behaviors, i.e., decide what is worth incurring a meltdown over and decide what is not worth incurring a meltdown over. You say you don't have control over him and from what I understand from Mr. Greene's book, is that by knowing what to do in pre-prioritized and defined situations, you actually DO have control over him. When you can prevent a meltdown and help him communicate how to respond the right way, the idea is that he will eventually learn how to cope.</p><p> </p><p>Anyways, maybe this will give you a little incentive to check out the book. If nothing else, it made me not feel so helpless and insane. We still have issues, but by being more prepared, my inner peace is much better.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="4timmy, post: 243405, member: 6553"] Ditto on The Explosive Child.... my difficult child is 10 too and lately he hasn't been having these meltdowns before school, but it could come back!! The last ones were a couple of weeks ago. He will get dressed and then at the last minute decide he doesn't want to wear the clothes he has on, goes upstairs, pulls out all the clothes and throws them on the floor, and cries while he's trying to find something to wear. It may or may not be a sensory issues with socks. If it's socks he's complaining about every day, then, well, it's probably a sensory thing. However, with my difficult child it changes. I think it was perhaps anxiety about going to school... who really knows? It could be a combo sensory/anxiety issue (??) I'm grasping at straws too. :confused1: I guess the trick here is to find ways to keep these meltdowns from happening. Maybe the night before you talk to him about which socks he wants to wear.... give him a choice between 2 outfits or something. My difficult child has to wear all cotton. He hates anything itchy.... interestingly enough, I'm the same way. It's just that I know that about myself and control what I buy and wear. Get him to communicate as much as you can when he's not having the meltdown. (I know, ....hard to do). The book The Explosive child will teach you to prioritize how you handle different behaviors, i.e., decide what is worth incurring a meltdown over and decide what is not worth incurring a meltdown over. You say you don't have control over him and from what I understand from Mr. Greene's book, is that by knowing what to do in pre-prioritized and defined situations, you actually DO have control over him. When you can prevent a meltdown and help him communicate how to respond the right way, the idea is that he will eventually learn how to cope. Anyways, maybe this will give you a little incentive to check out the book. If nothing else, it made me not feel so helpless and insane. We still have issues, but by being more prepared, my inner peace is much better. [/QUOTE]
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