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Doing something nice for your difficult child during the "bad" times
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 353725"><p>I posted about getting my difficult child a little something (and I mean little) for Easter and when I told her about it she smirked. It gave me a negative impression. She DID say all the right things. But, one thing that was clear not this: "Thank you mom for thinking about me even though I have been very inappropriate of late. How fortunate I am to have someone who cares about me throughout." NO WAY. It was more like "Ha! Even if I act inappropriately, this one will still care about me and do nice things for me." Ya see the difference? </p><p></p><p>On Easter difficult child came to the house and was totally appropriate. She stayed a short period of time. Someone who could conveniently take her home (it was on the way back to their home) took her back to her house (or at least the house she is crashing at while she gathers money to move, hopefully soon).</p><p></p><p>I did not tell her about the present on Easter, waiting to see how the day would go. I waited until several days later (actually forgot about it, etc.)</p><p></p><p>Okay, so what do you all do when your kids are behaving inappropriately and it is a holiday? We have limited or halted interaction with her during holidays if she is rude, etc.</p><p></p><p>Trinity mentioned (thank you) that sometimes these gifts can blur the lines when we are setting firm boundaries. difficult children just don't get it. Thoughts...ideas?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 353725"] I posted about getting my difficult child a little something (and I mean little) for Easter and when I told her about it she smirked. It gave me a negative impression. She DID say all the right things. But, one thing that was clear not this: "Thank you mom for thinking about me even though I have been very inappropriate of late. How fortunate I am to have someone who cares about me throughout." NO WAY. It was more like "Ha! Even if I act inappropriately, this one will still care about me and do nice things for me." Ya see the difference? On Easter difficult child came to the house and was totally appropriate. She stayed a short period of time. Someone who could conveniently take her home (it was on the way back to their home) took her back to her house (or at least the house she is crashing at while she gathers money to move, hopefully soon). I did not tell her about the present on Easter, waiting to see how the day would go. I waited until several days later (actually forgot about it, etc.) Okay, so what do you all do when your kids are behaving inappropriately and it is a holiday? We have limited or halted interaction with her during holidays if she is rude, etc. Trinity mentioned (thank you) that sometimes these gifts can blur the lines when we are setting firm boundaries. difficult children just don't get it. Thoughts...ideas? [/QUOTE]
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Doing something nice for your difficult child during the "bad" times
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