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Doing something nice for your difficult child during the "bad" times
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 353765" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>This is a tough one. I've not gotten my girls Easter gifts since they stopped believing in the Easter bunny, so that particular holiday only means a family dinner (and now, an Easter basket for my grandson). Christmas and birthdays, I will always give gifts of some kind. It does take some thought, however, because of the differences in my girls. Youngest takes care of her things, and is generally appreciative. Oldest is appreciative, but tends to lose things I give her .. leaving them behind at previous residences, especially. I've stopped giving her anything of value, until this changes. I think she is appreciative, but just, careless, and the loss of some things I've given her has really hurt my feelings in the past, especially the ones I put lots of thought into. </p><p></p><p>As far as behavior on holidays, several times there have been "threats" of drama from both my girls, including this year. So far I've not had to go so far as to cancel a family dinner, but I've pretty much said, "here's what I"m doing, let me know if you're coming." I'm totally ok with cancelling in the future, though, if things are bad enough. No skin off my back if I don't have to cook!</p><p></p><p>I'm not looking forward to Mother's Day this year (not that I do, in any year). Each year since Youngest had a baby, she's more adament that this holiday is about her, not me. Not that it was ever much about me, anyway, to either of my girls.. but that's a whole other post. Last year when I blatantly asked if they were thinking of any plans for mother's day, since I didn't really want to cook, the reponse was, "I'm a mother TOO!" Whatever. This year, I may just ignore the entire holiday.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 353765, member: 1157"] This is a tough one. I've not gotten my girls Easter gifts since they stopped believing in the Easter bunny, so that particular holiday only means a family dinner (and now, an Easter basket for my grandson). Christmas and birthdays, I will always give gifts of some kind. It does take some thought, however, because of the differences in my girls. Youngest takes care of her things, and is generally appreciative. Oldest is appreciative, but tends to lose things I give her .. leaving them behind at previous residences, especially. I've stopped giving her anything of value, until this changes. I think she is appreciative, but just, careless, and the loss of some things I've given her has really hurt my feelings in the past, especially the ones I put lots of thought into. As far as behavior on holidays, several times there have been "threats" of drama from both my girls, including this year. So far I've not had to go so far as to cancel a family dinner, but I've pretty much said, "here's what I"m doing, let me know if you're coming." I'm totally ok with cancelling in the future, though, if things are bad enough. No skin off my back if I don't have to cook! I'm not looking forward to Mother's Day this year (not that I do, in any year). Each year since Youngest had a baby, she's more adament that this holiday is about her, not me. Not that it was ever much about me, anyway, to either of my girls.. but that's a whole other post. Last year when I blatantly asked if they were thinking of any plans for mother's day, since I didn't really want to cook, the reponse was, "I'm a mother TOO!" Whatever. This year, I may just ignore the entire holiday. [/QUOTE]
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Doing something nice for your difficult child during the "bad" times
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