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Doing something nice for your difficult child during the "bad" times
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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 353771" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>I agree that this is a tough one. We treat birthdays and Christmas as sacrosanct, and always give gifts for those occasions. We're careful to choose things based on each child's abilities and behaviour patterns. For example, difficult child 1 begged for a remote control car for Christmas this year, but since he trashed the last one we got for him many years ago, we didn't get it for him, instead selecting something else.</p><p></p><p>We do withdraw from events, or make our difficult children withdraw from them, if their behaviour deteriorates. difficult child 1 spent most of Christmas day last year alone in the tv room while we celebrated elsewhere, as his behaviour was appalling and I told him that we didn't want to be near him when he was being like that. husband, the younger children and I skipped Thanksgiving and Easter dinners this time around, because our difficult children and other family members were causing us stress which we weren't prepared to deal with.</p><p></p><p>It's a tough call. Honestly, I don't think that it's made a dent in difficult child 1's or difficult child 2's level of self-centredness. However, it does ease my stress load. And at this point, that's my focus. The difficult children are adults now. They'll either figure it out or they won't, but I just don't want to make it my problem anymore. I'm tired.</p><p></p><p>Trinity</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 353771, member: 3907"] I agree that this is a tough one. We treat birthdays and Christmas as sacrosanct, and always give gifts for those occasions. We're careful to choose things based on each child's abilities and behaviour patterns. For example, difficult child 1 begged for a remote control car for Christmas this year, but since he trashed the last one we got for him many years ago, we didn't get it for him, instead selecting something else. We do withdraw from events, or make our difficult children withdraw from them, if their behaviour deteriorates. difficult child 1 spent most of Christmas day last year alone in the tv room while we celebrated elsewhere, as his behaviour was appalling and I told him that we didn't want to be near him when he was being like that. husband, the younger children and I skipped Thanksgiving and Easter dinners this time around, because our difficult children and other family members were causing us stress which we weren't prepared to deal with. It's a tough call. Honestly, I don't think that it's made a dent in difficult child 1's or difficult child 2's level of self-centredness. However, it does ease my stress load. And at this point, that's my focus. The difficult children are adults now. They'll either figure it out or they won't, but I just don't want to make it my problem anymore. I'm tired. Trinity [/QUOTE]
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Doing something nice for your difficult child during the "bad" times
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