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Substance Abuse
Don't know how much more I can take.
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<blockquote data-quote="Mikey" data-source="post: 121807" data-attributes="member: 3579"><p>JMS, so sorry to hear about your situation. I can sympathize (in a way), because two years ago I was your husband. McWeedy had just admitted to using pot, wife flew into a rage and "wanted him out of her house", and I wanted to try and find a sane middle ground from which to operate.</p><p></p><p>So, I made a deal with the devil and turned a blind eye to McWeedy's pot use. I did so for the same reasons, because I thought it would give me an "in" to work with him. Well, I was "in" with him for as long as I let him toke. But when his empty promises evaporated (school will be better, homelife will be better, I'll only do it recreationally, yadda yadda) <strong>I</strong> was the one who went on the warpath.</p><p></p><p>I agree with you that it did nothing to help, only gave him a safe excuse to keep acting out, and then gave him a reason to get mad when he failed to deliver on a single promise he'd made, and I started going ballistic months later. Of course, he then went and got stoned to deal with his psychotic Dad </p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/clubbing.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":clubbing:" title="clubbing :clubbing:" data-shortname=":clubbing:" /></p><p>(Shows what happens when you bargain with an addict - it's like sitting down at the 100 dollar table in Vegas when you don't know how to play BlackJack; you get taken for all you're worth, and then some...)</p><p></p><p>I wish I could offer something other than my support and prayers for you and yours. wife and I have swapped sides several times, and have never found ourselves on the same side yet. I know it's difficult. </p><p></p><p>But, if nothing else, keep the lines of communication open between you and your husband - don't let difficult child have any say-so in the dialog between the two of you. You never know, maybe you'll find common ground and start acting in unison. Many smart people here tried to get me to do that quite a while ago, and I wish I had listened to them. Not that it would have changed anything a whit with McWeedy, but maybe my relationship with wife wouldn't be so strained now.</p><p></p><p>And, rest assured, unless things are VERY wrong with your husband, sooner or later he will realize what difficult child is doing. Illusions don't last forever. When he finally realizes the truth, will your husband turn into a "Nazi" like I did? (McWeedy's loving term for me around the house). If husband finally sees the situation a bit more clearly, what will <strong>you</strong> do? Do you have a plan for if/when that happens?</p><p></p><p>Just my poor two cents worth.</p><p></p><p>Mikey</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mikey, post: 121807, member: 3579"] JMS, so sorry to hear about your situation. I can sympathize (in a way), because two years ago I was your husband. McWeedy had just admitted to using pot, wife flew into a rage and "wanted him out of her house", and I wanted to try and find a sane middle ground from which to operate. So, I made a deal with the devil and turned a blind eye to McWeedy's pot use. I did so for the same reasons, because I thought it would give me an "in" to work with him. Well, I was "in" with him for as long as I let him toke. But when his empty promises evaporated (school will be better, homelife will be better, I'll only do it recreationally, yadda yadda) [B]I[/B] was the one who went on the warpath. I agree with you that it did nothing to help, only gave him a safe excuse to keep acting out, and then gave him a reason to get mad when he failed to deliver on a single promise he'd made, and I started going ballistic months later. Of course, he then went and got stoned to deal with his psychotic Dad :clubbing: (Shows what happens when you bargain with an addict - it's like sitting down at the 100 dollar table in Vegas when you don't know how to play BlackJack; you get taken for all you're worth, and then some...) I wish I could offer something other than my support and prayers for you and yours. wife and I have swapped sides several times, and have never found ourselves on the same side yet. I know it's difficult. But, if nothing else, keep the lines of communication open between you and your husband - don't let difficult child have any say-so in the dialog between the two of you. You never know, maybe you'll find common ground and start acting in unison. Many smart people here tried to get me to do that quite a while ago, and I wish I had listened to them. Not that it would have changed anything a whit with McWeedy, but maybe my relationship with wife wouldn't be so strained now. And, rest assured, unless things are VERY wrong with your husband, sooner or later he will realize what difficult child is doing. Illusions don't last forever. When he finally realizes the truth, will your husband turn into a "Nazi" like I did? (McWeedy's loving term for me around the house). If husband finally sees the situation a bit more clearly, what will [B]you[/B] do? Do you have a plan for if/when that happens? Just my poor two cents worth. Mikey [/QUOTE]
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