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Don't know what to do next with out of control 5 year old.
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<blockquote data-quote="Dixies_fire" data-source="post: 602828" data-attributes="member: 16184"><p>You sound exhausted and it sounds exhausting and familiar listening to your story.</p><p></p><p>I'm a newbie but I second the testing neuropsychologist testing all the way. </p><p></p><p>Also making a note book of symptoms amd things he's done in the past that set off the "not normal" flag for you. Having this notebook written down saves time when changing doctors and when you ask for a referral from the pediatrician to see a neuropsychologist or if you self refer you might have to talk to several different people to find the right doctor so it's always easier to have this stuff listed down. Plus it's easy to get emotional when talking to the doctor and its easy for them to blow off emotion depending on the doctor. Most doctors I've talked to in the past two years wanted to throw medicine at the problem at the same time implying I had munchhousen (sp?) syndrome because " a kid who has no problems in school can't possibly be on the spectrum" </p><p></p><p>If your kid is on the spectrum spanking isn't really effective anyway. I say this as someone who does believe in spanking and has spanked my difficult child (gift from god, non typical kid) spanking worked for her only on things that were a danger to her, like sparking her hand when she reached for the stove or electrical outlets it never really did work for bad behavior it took a very long time to notice that difference though.</p><p></p><p>And yes it is exhausting and my kid is only a big handful compared to my other kids I wouldn't really call her a problem child compared to other people's difficult children. </p><p></p><p>The only thing I would say about anything that you have said at all and this is just my opinion. Your difficult child hits you and you cry about it in front of him, better to be stoic if at all possible I realize how hard that is but giving them emotion tends to backfire. He did it to get the emotion from you, don't give it. Also and you may not agree with this but I don't let my difficult child rage out of control anymore or my nephew who is also a difficult child and a really big boy, I have had to physically restrain both of them until the rage passes because they aren't going to hurt me or break things or hurt other people. Physically restrain ie: bear hug from behind keeping their arms pinned to the side or actually holding difficult child on the floor while she was attacking them did the time out after they realized they weren't going to be allowed to destroy or hurt anyone. You have a leg up in your difficult child is still small and is unfamiliar with any physical consequence to his rage, it might shock him the first few times you do it.</p><p></p><p>Just my two cent. Boys will get bigger at some point than us and even girls get much stronger, it's a good idea to try to curtail the physical violence if at all possible now. </p><p></p><p>Also a natural consequence of throwing a 800 dollar piece of equipment is taking it away. </p><p></p><p>I really do get taking their coping mechanisms iPods computer tv seems to be making more work for yourself and is counter intuitive but you aren't saying they have to be bored you are just showing them a natural consequence at that time for breaking throwing expensive things and disrespecting mom. </p><p></p><p>Having a list of alternate low tech activities can help. Small crafts, crayon art, painting, sock puppets, rock painting, take a walk with the family, books, color pages, pet time, play with the animal time, making home made treats, help with cooking.... </p><p>Honest to god sometimes it seems like the less tv or computer time my kid gets the better she behaves.</p><p>Having really stern rules about where they can do each activity makes this less hard work for you, only one area to clean up instead of all over the house..</p><p></p><p>Just my two cent, welcome to the board.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Dixies_fire, post: 602828, member: 16184"] You sound exhausted and it sounds exhausting and familiar listening to your story. I'm a newbie but I second the testing neuropsychologist testing all the way. Also making a note book of symptoms amd things he's done in the past that set off the "not normal" flag for you. Having this notebook written down saves time when changing doctors and when you ask for a referral from the pediatrician to see a neuropsychologist or if you self refer you might have to talk to several different people to find the right doctor so it's always easier to have this stuff listed down. Plus it's easy to get emotional when talking to the doctor and its easy for them to blow off emotion depending on the doctor. Most doctors I've talked to in the past two years wanted to throw medicine at the problem at the same time implying I had munchhousen (sp?) syndrome because " a kid who has no problems in school can't possibly be on the spectrum" If your kid is on the spectrum spanking isn't really effective anyway. I say this as someone who does believe in spanking and has spanked my difficult child (gift from god, non typical kid) spanking worked for her only on things that were a danger to her, like sparking her hand when she reached for the stove or electrical outlets it never really did work for bad behavior it took a very long time to notice that difference though. And yes it is exhausting and my kid is only a big handful compared to my other kids I wouldn't really call her a problem child compared to other people's difficult children. The only thing I would say about anything that you have said at all and this is just my opinion. Your difficult child hits you and you cry about it in front of him, better to be stoic if at all possible I realize how hard that is but giving them emotion tends to backfire. He did it to get the emotion from you, don't give it. Also and you may not agree with this but I don't let my difficult child rage out of control anymore or my nephew who is also a difficult child and a really big boy, I have had to physically restrain both of them until the rage passes because they aren't going to hurt me or break things or hurt other people. Physically restrain ie: bear hug from behind keeping their arms pinned to the side or actually holding difficult child on the floor while she was attacking them did the time out after they realized they weren't going to be allowed to destroy or hurt anyone. You have a leg up in your difficult child is still small and is unfamiliar with any physical consequence to his rage, it might shock him the first few times you do it. Just my two cent. Boys will get bigger at some point than us and even girls get much stronger, it's a good idea to try to curtail the physical violence if at all possible now. Also a natural consequence of throwing a 800 dollar piece of equipment is taking it away. I really do get taking their coping mechanisms iPods computer tv seems to be making more work for yourself and is counter intuitive but you aren't saying they have to be bored you are just showing them a natural consequence at that time for breaking throwing expensive things and disrespecting mom. Having a list of alternate low tech activities can help. Small crafts, crayon art, painting, sock puppets, rock painting, take a walk with the family, books, color pages, pet time, play with the animal time, making home made treats, help with cooking.... Honest to god sometimes it seems like the less tv or computer time my kid gets the better she behaves. Having really stern rules about where they can do each activity makes this less hard work for you, only one area to clean up instead of all over the house.. Just my two cent, welcome to the board. [/QUOTE]
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Don't know what to do next with out of control 5 year old.
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