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Don't know what to do w my 19yr old pot head
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 750161" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Welcome! Your son is 19 so he's a legal adult and can choose to live his life the way he wants. HOWEVER, if he is living under your roof and you are paying for school, then you have a bargaining chip.</p><p>This is where you have to have very clear and defined boundaries. Bear in mind, that even with clear boundaries it's just not that easy and you have to be prepared for push back.</p><p>Example: You tell your son that smoking pot while living under roof is not acceptable - there has to be a consequence. What does that look like for you? If you tell him he can't live under your roof if he continues to smoke pot you need to be prepared for a variety of reactions.</p><p>You can use living under your roof and paying for school as leverage with consequences but you have to be prepared to follow through. If you tell him he can't live under your roof, you have to follow through with removing him from your home. If you set a boundary with a consequence and you do not follow through, you have set the table for manipulation to be served.</p><p>There are several good books about setting boundaries, you may want to check out.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 750161, member: 18516"] Welcome! Your son is 19 so he's a legal adult and can choose to live his life the way he wants. HOWEVER, if he is living under your roof and you are paying for school, then you have a bargaining chip. This is where you have to have very clear and defined boundaries. Bear in mind, that even with clear boundaries it's just not that easy and you have to be prepared for push back. Example: You tell your son that smoking pot while living under roof is not acceptable - there has to be a consequence. What does that look like for you? If you tell him he can't live under your roof if he continues to smoke pot you need to be prepared for a variety of reactions. You can use living under your roof and paying for school as leverage with consequences but you have to be prepared to follow through. If you tell him he can't live under your roof, you have to follow through with removing him from your home. If you set a boundary with a consequence and you do not follow through, you have set the table for manipulation to be served. There are several good books about setting boundaries, you may want to check out. [/QUOTE]
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Don't know what to do w my 19yr old pot head
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