Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Don't Know Where to Turn for Help
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 548738" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Hi Brad, and welcome.</p><p></p><p>Just a few quick thoughts - Ava has all of you exactly where she wants you. The mere mention of DCFS or police, and you're all scrambling to figure out how to avoid that involvement. She has all the power, and you guys have given it to her because of your (understandable) reluctance to deal with- those agencies. Until you call her bluff, she's going to keep it up. I know DCFS isn't a ton of fun, nor is dealing with- police reports, but she's holding you, your wife, her ex, and all of your kids hostage right now all because she's threatening to file a <u>false report</u> if she doesn't get her way! Quite frankly, I'd hand her the phone, or better yet, make the call yourself (or biodad should since he's the one currently being threatened by her). Succumbing to her emotional blackmail is not helping her, or you guys. I know there are a lot of horror stories out there about DCFS - my personal experience with them was good. We had a report of abuse filed against us, they came, they investigated, I gave them the long list of doctors and medications and interventions, and the report was unfounded. I found it empowering because the next time my little cherub threatened me with filing an abuse report, I handed him the phone. I may be Polly-Anna, but if you have done nothing wrong, it's worth the inconvenience of dealing with- these folks in order to call Ava's bluff *and* get it documented that she's making up allegations. </p><p></p><p>I have to agree that I would not allow her back in your home. The damage behaviorally challenged kids can do to their siblings is pretty significant, and since there is an alternative living arrangement (though I understand biodad isn't happy), I'd be firm about not allowing her to return. How does your wife feel about all this? </p><p></p><p>I doubt at 17 you can force any treatment. psychiatric age of consent generally is younger than 18.</p><p></p><p>Supports for dad - his own counseling, school staff, and again, I'd really recommend he contact local PD and/or DCFS to discuss her threats of crying abuse. I can't see what other option he has. Confront it head on and call her bluff. Get it documented - especially since she's threatening to do it if she cannot come live with you again.</p><p></p><p>Again - welcome.</p><p></p><p>Edited to add, with emphasis: There has *got* to be a trail of documentation. If she's skipping school, breaking curfew, running away - there needs to be a paper trail with- the appropriate folks (police, truant officer, etc.). Biodad needs to make sure that each and every incident is reported to appropriate authorities. It's exhausting, but it's in his best interest for self-preservation and to possibly get her treatment she needs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 548738, member: 8"] Hi Brad, and welcome. Just a few quick thoughts - Ava has all of you exactly where she wants you. The mere mention of DCFS or police, and you're all scrambling to figure out how to avoid that involvement. She has all the power, and you guys have given it to her because of your (understandable) reluctance to deal with- those agencies. Until you call her bluff, she's going to keep it up. I know DCFS isn't a ton of fun, nor is dealing with- police reports, but she's holding you, your wife, her ex, and all of your kids hostage right now all because she's threatening to file a [U]false report[/U] if she doesn't get her way! Quite frankly, I'd hand her the phone, or better yet, make the call yourself (or biodad should since he's the one currently being threatened by her). Succumbing to her emotional blackmail is not helping her, or you guys. I know there are a lot of horror stories out there about DCFS - my personal experience with them was good. We had a report of abuse filed against us, they came, they investigated, I gave them the long list of doctors and medications and interventions, and the report was unfounded. I found it empowering because the next time my little cherub threatened me with filing an abuse report, I handed him the phone. I may be Polly-Anna, but if you have done nothing wrong, it's worth the inconvenience of dealing with- these folks in order to call Ava's bluff *and* get it documented that she's making up allegations. I have to agree that I would not allow her back in your home. The damage behaviorally challenged kids can do to their siblings is pretty significant, and since there is an alternative living arrangement (though I understand biodad isn't happy), I'd be firm about not allowing her to return. How does your wife feel about all this? I doubt at 17 you can force any treatment. psychiatric age of consent generally is younger than 18. Supports for dad - his own counseling, school staff, and again, I'd really recommend he contact local PD and/or DCFS to discuss her threats of crying abuse. I can't see what other option he has. Confront it head on and call her bluff. Get it documented - especially since she's threatening to do it if she cannot come live with you again. Again - welcome. Edited to add, with emphasis: There has *got* to be a trail of documentation. If she's skipping school, breaking curfew, running away - there needs to be a paper trail with- the appropriate folks (police, truant officer, etc.). Biodad needs to make sure that each and every incident is reported to appropriate authorities. It's exhausting, but it's in his best interest for self-preservation and to possibly get her treatment she needs. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Don't Know Where to Turn for Help
Top