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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 731272" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>You don't sound heartless to me.</p><p></p><p>I have had severe suicidal depression and anxiety since age 13. Or I did have. I am 64. Let me share my story.</p><p></p><p>My parents didn't care one wit. Nobody in my family cared. I had to leave so I married and the marriage wasn't good but I picked myself up, admitted myself into a psychiatric ward for ten weeks (I was pregnant at the time and knew I had to get better and that nobody would help me but me). I took medications. I still do. I went into therapy. I made my life good. I tried and tried.</p><p></p><p>Now remember that I had no parents or husband worrying about me. None. I had to work even if I could barely get out of bed. I personally think that having to do it myself without pity HELPED me. I may have done what your daughter is doing if I knew my mom felt sorry for me and that she would let me live at home without getting better. Who knows? I now mentor young mentally ill youths and they ALL work, and most have lives, none livre at home. Most get Disability too have case managers who help them get services, housing, jobs, therapy and</p><p> even drive them places...they all have plans to become more functional. Some are SO sick and doing SO well!</p><p></p><p>Some have the very serious schizophrenia. I don't mentor them as I don't have that but I do help those with depression and anxiety. I tell them where I came from and how great my life, family of choice and kids and pets are now. I had to work hard but it made me much stronger. I have a GREAT husband now and all the love I need. I had to become independent. Your doing the right thing with your daughter. Although before she turns 18 if it we're me I would help her apply for SSI. You may need a lawyer. Much help comes with this and she can still work.</p><p></p><p>If I were you, daughter would take her medicine in front of me, get a part time job whether she has to drag herself out of bed or not, get services...or I would make her leave. Like you. I feel, as one who went through it, that allowing a loved one to linger in illness is very bad for the person's recovery. She NEEDS medications, she takes them or she does it her way, on her own. Like I did.</p><p></p><p>The mentally ill need to have expectations and a depressive and anxious patient feels better being in the regular world once they get out of bed. Out in the world.</p><p></p><p>There are many depressed people. It's not fun but it is very treatable. She just has to get off her tail and do it to and stop whining. Whining never helped me one bit. You are right in my opinion to put expectations on her so she is forced to start healing.</p><p></p><p>If she can volunteer she can work. Her own money will empower her. Exercise is great for depression. Laying in bed is the worst. In a psychiatric hospital every patient has to wake up early, take medications if ordered, eat breakfast in a group, go to therapy and other things like arts and crafts and you can not sleep during the day. You must stay in the Community Room with everyone else It's good for mental health patients to be busy. That's why it's done that way.</p><p></p><p>Making her live and get help, with hard consequences if she refuses, is what I think is best. So I agree with your plan. She is losing ground at home. But I would get her adult services. Go to Aging and Disabilities with her and they will help you and her.</p><p></p><p> I hope this helps. Your daughter would HAVE to function if she didn't have you. NO treatment program, even just services, would let her say "I can't" to everything. That's very unhelpful.</p><p></p><p>I would not pay for that phone or allowance male friends in the house. If she is that sick, why does she have enough energy for these men??? They are making her worse. She doesn't need to text men or anyone. That is puzzling for somebody who is supposedly unable to even volunteer. That phone is amusing her so that she can be entertained without ever needing to get out of bed. I would take it. Now. It is holding her back. When you go to work also disconnect the internet. Maybe if she is bored enough she will get up and look for something to do. She may even walk to the library for THEIR internet. A walk would be excellent!</p><p></p><p>Hugs to you. I know it will be hard. But get the help for her if you can and let her help herself.</p><p></p><p>Love and light!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 731272, member: 1550"] You don't sound heartless to me. I have had severe suicidal depression and anxiety since age 13. Or I did have. I am 64. Let me share my story. My parents didn't care one wit. Nobody in my family cared. I had to leave so I married and the marriage wasn't good but I picked myself up, admitted myself into a psychiatric ward for ten weeks (I was pregnant at the time and knew I had to get better and that nobody would help me but me). I took medications. I still do. I went into therapy. I made my life good. I tried and tried. Now remember that I had no parents or husband worrying about me. None. I had to work even if I could barely get out of bed. I personally think that having to do it myself without pity HELPED me. I may have done what your daughter is doing if I knew my mom felt sorry for me and that she would let me live at home without getting better. Who knows? I now mentor young mentally ill youths and they ALL work, and most have lives, none livre at home. Most get Disability too have case managers who help them get services, housing, jobs, therapy and even drive them places...they all have plans to become more functional. Some are SO sick and doing SO well! Some have the very serious schizophrenia. I don't mentor them as I don't have that but I do help those with depression and anxiety. I tell them where I came from and how great my life, family of choice and kids and pets are now. I had to work hard but it made me much stronger. I have a GREAT husband now and all the love I need. I had to become independent. Your doing the right thing with your daughter. Although before she turns 18 if it we're me I would help her apply for SSI. You may need a lawyer. Much help comes with this and she can still work. If I were you, daughter would take her medicine in front of me, get a part time job whether she has to drag herself out of bed or not, get services...or I would make her leave. Like you. I feel, as one who went through it, that allowing a loved one to linger in illness is very bad for the person's recovery. She NEEDS medications, she takes them or she does it her way, on her own. Like I did. The mentally ill need to have expectations and a depressive and anxious patient feels better being in the regular world once they get out of bed. Out in the world. There are many depressed people. It's not fun but it is very treatable. She just has to get off her tail and do it to and stop whining. Whining never helped me one bit. You are right in my opinion to put expectations on her so she is forced to start healing. If she can volunteer she can work. Her own money will empower her. Exercise is great for depression. Laying in bed is the worst. In a psychiatric hospital every patient has to wake up early, take medications if ordered, eat breakfast in a group, go to therapy and other things like arts and crafts and you can not sleep during the day. You must stay in the Community Room with everyone else It's good for mental health patients to be busy. That's why it's done that way. Making her live and get help, with hard consequences if she refuses, is what I think is best. So I agree with your plan. She is losing ground at home. But I would get her adult services. Go to Aging and Disabilities with her and they will help you and her. I hope this helps. Your daughter would HAVE to function if she didn't have you. NO treatment program, even just services, would let her say "I can't" to everything. That's very unhelpful. I would not pay for that phone or allowance male friends in the house. If she is that sick, why does she have enough energy for these men??? They are making her worse. She doesn't need to text men or anyone. That is puzzling for somebody who is supposedly unable to even volunteer. That phone is amusing her so that she can be entertained without ever needing to get out of bed. I would take it. Now. It is holding her back. When you go to work also disconnect the internet. Maybe if she is bored enough she will get up and look for something to do. She may even walk to the library for THEIR internet. A walk would be excellent! Hugs to you. I know it will be hard. But get the help for her if you can and let her help herself. Love and light! [/QUOTE]
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