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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 731284" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Welcome. I'm sorry you are struggling with your daughter's behaviors. It's so challenging when our kids go off the rails, for whatever reason.</p><p></p><p>I would suggest you contact NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness. You can access them online, they have chapters in many cities. They offer parent courses which I've taken and many here have taken, which I believe may offer you resources, guidance, options and information. You're going to need a plan, as RNO says, and I believe NAMI may be able to assist you with one.</p><p></p><p>Many of us require professional help to learn how to navigate this difficult path, it demands a different way to parent, which we usually have no idea how to do. You can find options for therapists on the Psychology Today website as well as goodtherapy.org. if that feels right to you.</p><p></p><p>You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. And, a good general book resource is Codependent no more by Melodie Beattie.</p><p></p><p>Unfortunately with adult kids over the age of 18 our options are limited. You have to decide what you can live with, what you are willing to do and what you are not willing to do. To that end, NAMI or a good therapist may be able to assist you. You seem to have a good handle on what the reality is with your daughter and that things cannot continue the way they are.... it is a good time to be exploring options for all of you.</p><p></p><p>You do not sound heartless....you sound human.....we parents do not have the power to control our children's choices or behaviors and when those choices and behaviors are negative & lazy.....and when they won't help themselves and have no plan to change or move ahead.... only to stagnate while you pay the bills.....well, it's time for change.</p><p></p><p>Continue posting, it helps to write our story down and have it be received by others who understand.....it's cathartic. Keep yourself well supported as you travel through this path. </p><p></p><p>I'm glad you're here. You're not alone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 731284, member: 13542"] Welcome. I'm sorry you are struggling with your daughter's behaviors. It's so challenging when our kids go off the rails, for whatever reason. I would suggest you contact NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness. You can access them online, they have chapters in many cities. They offer parent courses which I've taken and many here have taken, which I believe may offer you resources, guidance, options and information. You're going to need a plan, as RNO says, and I believe NAMI may be able to assist you with one. Many of us require professional help to learn how to navigate this difficult path, it demands a different way to parent, which we usually have no idea how to do. You can find options for therapists on the Psychology Today website as well as goodtherapy.org. if that feels right to you. You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. And, a good general book resource is Codependent no more by Melodie Beattie. Unfortunately with adult kids over the age of 18 our options are limited. You have to decide what you can live with, what you are willing to do and what you are not willing to do. To that end, NAMI or a good therapist may be able to assist you. You seem to have a good handle on what the reality is with your daughter and that things cannot continue the way they are.... it is a good time to be exploring options for all of you. You do not sound heartless....you sound human.....we parents do not have the power to control our children's choices or behaviors and when those choices and behaviors are negative & lazy.....and when they won't help themselves and have no plan to change or move ahead.... only to stagnate while you pay the bills.....well, it's time for change. Continue posting, it helps to write our story down and have it be received by others who understand.....it's cathartic. Keep yourself well supported as you travel through this path. I'm glad you're here. You're not alone. [/QUOTE]
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