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<blockquote data-quote="beyondthecliff" data-source="post: 736731" data-attributes="member: 22982"><p>Thank you Origami - thank you to everyone -</p><p></p><p>It helps just to have people who understand. We are not telling our extended family - at least not for now. They would point fingers and blame us, and offer nothing constructive so it seems pointless and would just add to our already beleaguered morale.</p><p></p><p>Maturity is a big one for her. She is, I would estimate, about 11 or 12 in her emotional reasoning. It is very, very hard to set boundaries on someone so young and immature, and honestly so emotionally fragile, and yet all the reading, research, and advice I have done makes it very clear that helping her is NOT helping her if we are, in fact, just enabling her destructive path. I have had to come to the horrific acceptance that she may end up dead on the street and I am utterly powerless to prevent it.</p><p></p><p>I am sure like all of you, you have racked your brains looking for answers. I know non of us are perfect, but I am (I believe) wise enough to confront my own short-comings and take a good hard look at my own contribution to this mess. However - there is nothing. Our home has always been loving and warm, family oriented, stable, calm, and peaceful until this garbage started. We have a strong, happy 20+ yr marriage. My husband always treats my with the utmost respect and kindness - so that is what her male role-model has been. She was provided with everything she needed. We never disciplined with violence, always with consequences and guidance. She had love, support, encouragement. We don't drink, smoke, or do drugs of any kind. We have always promoted honesty, integrity, compassion and thoughtfulness, and have lived by those examples.</p><p></p><p>My belief is that this has come from the fact that she was always painfully shy to the point of not talking at school. She was bullied and ostracized mercilessly for so long, she shut down. Eventually the bullies gave up because they got no response, and she was simply ignored. That treatment, day in, day out, crushed her soul. She shut down, and became an empty, hollow shell of a person. She stopped caring and her depression got to the point she had no feelings (her words). The message from her peers was that she was unwanted, no likeable, boring....so that is what she believed about herself. She has no friends. Not one. She never got invited to parties or social gatherings, she never went to after school functions, she has no hobbies or sport activities. Nothing at all.</p><p></p><p>The closest thing she has to "friends" are, in my opinion, predatory males, who just use and abuse her. She gives them what they want in return for some pseudo friendship. It is awful. We are powerless to prevent it, and I wouldn't be surprised if she gets sucked into sex trafficking or prostitution of some kind.</p><p></p><p>What a mess!</p><p></p><p>Thank you</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="beyondthecliff, post: 736731, member: 22982"] Thank you Origami - thank you to everyone - It helps just to have people who understand. We are not telling our extended family - at least not for now. They would point fingers and blame us, and offer nothing constructive so it seems pointless and would just add to our already beleaguered morale. Maturity is a big one for her. She is, I would estimate, about 11 or 12 in her emotional reasoning. It is very, very hard to set boundaries on someone so young and immature, and honestly so emotionally fragile, and yet all the reading, research, and advice I have done makes it very clear that helping her is NOT helping her if we are, in fact, just enabling her destructive path. I have had to come to the horrific acceptance that she may end up dead on the street and I am utterly powerless to prevent it. I am sure like all of you, you have racked your brains looking for answers. I know non of us are perfect, but I am (I believe) wise enough to confront my own short-comings and take a good hard look at my own contribution to this mess. However - there is nothing. Our home has always been loving and warm, family oriented, stable, calm, and peaceful until this garbage started. We have a strong, happy 20+ yr marriage. My husband always treats my with the utmost respect and kindness - so that is what her male role-model has been. She was provided with everything she needed. We never disciplined with violence, always with consequences and guidance. She had love, support, encouragement. We don't drink, smoke, or do drugs of any kind. We have always promoted honesty, integrity, compassion and thoughtfulness, and have lived by those examples. My belief is that this has come from the fact that she was always painfully shy to the point of not talking at school. She was bullied and ostracized mercilessly for so long, she shut down. Eventually the bullies gave up because they got no response, and she was simply ignored. That treatment, day in, day out, crushed her soul. She shut down, and became an empty, hollow shell of a person. She stopped caring and her depression got to the point she had no feelings (her words). The message from her peers was that she was unwanted, no likeable, boring....so that is what she believed about herself. She has no friends. Not one. She never got invited to parties or social gatherings, she never went to after school functions, she has no hobbies or sport activities. Nothing at all. The closest thing she has to "friends" are, in my opinion, predatory males, who just use and abuse her. She gives them what they want in return for some pseudo friendship. It is awful. We are powerless to prevent it, and I wouldn't be surprised if she gets sucked into sex trafficking or prostitution of some kind. What a mess! Thank you [/QUOTE]
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