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Parent Emeritus
Doubt and Guilt...Need a reality check
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 654252" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>Yes, it will get better - but it takes LOT of practice. Give yourself a break, and try to focus on the things you HAVE accomplished until now. You're recognizing the behaviors for what they are, and that's improvement, right?! You're going to slip, you're going to fall - but you just keep on trying. We've got your back. </p><p></p><p>I like the Cheetos analogy. For me, it's Brussels sprouts. I've tried them, don't like them. They seem to be on everyone's menu these days, and I have friends that rave about them, can't get enough of them. They tell me I just haven't had them prepared properly. One place even has BACON infused Brussels sprouts, how could I not like those?! But I tried them.. blech. Couldn't stand them, even with my beloved bacon. Nope, not gonna change my mind on Brussels sprouts.</p><p></p><p>But I digress...</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>First-- do you see the irony in that statement? She CALLED you and said she doesn't have a phone <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Really, it makes you giggle when you think about it (I'm big on humor to diffuse stress). She can make calls when she wants to - she finds a way. This clearly isn't a priority. But you knew that..</p><p></p><p>Second - "I told her she doesn't care because.... " You're right, she doesn't. But part of detachment for me is taking a deep breath when I'm tempted to tell my kids anything about what they do or don't do, or should or shouldn't, do. It's not my job, especially when it comes to stating the obvious. It's really really hard sometimes though, I know! </p><p></p><p>I know it's so hard to listen to the slurred voice - it's both maddening and heartbreaking. I hate it when Oldest calls me and is obviously out of her mind on pain medications. An "I love you" in slurry words is kind of heartbreaking, too <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> I'm sorry. Hugs to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 654252, member: 1157"] Yes, it will get better - but it takes LOT of practice. Give yourself a break, and try to focus on the things you HAVE accomplished until now. You're recognizing the behaviors for what they are, and that's improvement, right?! You're going to slip, you're going to fall - but you just keep on trying. We've got your back. I like the Cheetos analogy. For me, it's Brussels sprouts. I've tried them, don't like them. They seem to be on everyone's menu these days, and I have friends that rave about them, can't get enough of them. They tell me I just haven't had them prepared properly. One place even has BACON infused Brussels sprouts, how could I not like those?! But I tried them.. blech. Couldn't stand them, even with my beloved bacon. Nope, not gonna change my mind on Brussels sprouts. But I digress... First-- do you see the irony in that statement? She CALLED you and said she doesn't have a phone :) Really, it makes you giggle when you think about it (I'm big on humor to diffuse stress). She can make calls when she wants to - she finds a way. This clearly isn't a priority. But you knew that.. Second - "I told her she doesn't care because.... " You're right, she doesn't. But part of detachment for me is taking a deep breath when I'm tempted to tell my kids anything about what they do or don't do, or should or shouldn't, do. It's not my job, especially when it comes to stating the obvious. It's really really hard sometimes though, I know! I know it's so hard to listen to the slurred voice - it's both maddening and heartbreaking. I hate it when Oldest calls me and is obviously out of her mind on pain medications. An "I love you" in slurry words is kind of heartbreaking, too :( I'm sorry. Hugs to you. [/QUOTE]
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