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Parent Emeritus
Doubt and Guilt...Need a reality check
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 654407" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>It may be an unhealthy way for me to think about it, but I tend to analogize our kids leaving the nest to someone dying. </p><p> </p><p>In the best, "normal" situation, a person grows up and lives to a ripe old age, finally passing on with their loved ones around them. </p><p> </p><p>In our cases, however, it's like there's been a young person in a horrible accident (of their own making) just lingering and occasionally getting better only to have it happen again (those of us who have the addict children who get better and then relapse and move in and out of our lives) or suddenly being taken (the kids who leave in a huff, or have to be put out of our homes). </p><p> </p><p>People in the "normal" group still grieve (empty nest syndrome) but I think they must have an easier time of it; comfort from knowing that it's the natural order of things. The other groups suffer more...feeling the unfairness - the unnaturalness of it all. They take longer to work thru the stages of grief. </p><p> </p><p>Of course, I only have the one child. So I could be totally wrong. But that's how it seems to me. Like Crazy - I feel like something was stolen from me. It's hard to let go of.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 654407, member: 17309"] It may be an unhealthy way for me to think about it, but I tend to analogize our kids leaving the nest to someone dying. In the best, "normal" situation, a person grows up and lives to a ripe old age, finally passing on with their loved ones around them. In our cases, however, it's like there's been a young person in a horrible accident (of their own making) just lingering and occasionally getting better only to have it happen again (those of us who have the addict children who get better and then relapse and move in and out of our lives) or suddenly being taken (the kids who leave in a huff, or have to be put out of our homes). People in the "normal" group still grieve (empty nest syndrome) but I think they must have an easier time of it; comfort from knowing that it's the natural order of things. The other groups suffer more...feeling the unfairness - the unnaturalness of it all. They take longer to work thru the stages of grief. Of course, I only have the one child. So I could be totally wrong. But that's how it seems to me. Like Crazy - I feel like something was stolen from me. It's hard to let go of. [/QUOTE]
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Doubt and Guilt...Need a reality check
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