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Doubts and questions about my course.
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<blockquote data-quote="Feeling Sad" data-source="post: 712418" data-attributes="member: 19245"><p>Copa, it is very difficult for me to answer your quandary. I will very likely never see my schizophrenic son ever again. I do not know where he is and he was given a restraining order not to see or contact me.</p><p></p><p>That being said, I would hug your son, if I were you, and cherish every moment...the good and the bad. You want him to stay on his antiviral medicine, so I feel that kiclking him out is not an option. You are also better, overall, having him in your life.</p><p></p><p>Yes, you have a complete right to have rules. He needs normal structure. But, you cannot plan his activities or goals. Besides, he needs to want to accomplish these things. He needs to develop intrinsic rewards, as opposed to, extrinsic rewards.</p><p></p><p>My eldest smoked marijuana, without my knowledge. There are a lot of studies that feel that it can trigger paranoia and delusions, even schizophrenia. At the very least, a person may develop avolition.</p><p></p><p>I would put basic rules in place. He is taking what he can. Why not use his SSI money for marijuana, if he is helped out with food when he runs out of money? Why have goals if he does not need to earn more money to support himself?</p><p></p><p>Stick to a reasonable rent. Do not waver from it. Then, maybe, you could raise it $50 in 6 months and let him know now. He would have to up the game plan. Let him work for M. If his life is made too easy, what motivation will he have? HE needs to want to change. He is doing just enough to get by. He likes his lifestyle. You are the one that does not like it. HE needs to want to have goals and a better life.</p><p></p><p>Do not kick him out. Have firm realistic rules. But, you cannot micromanage his life. He needs to take some responsibility and be an adult. He needs to feel good about himself. He needs to do it for himself and not be told. Yes, I am the same way with my 'gentle' nudging/nagging. But, he will resent it and it will undermine any feelings of self esteem or accomplishment that he might garner.</p><p></p><p>Again, hug him and be thankful that he is with you. My opinion is very warped by my loss, but there it is...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Feeling Sad, post: 712418, member: 19245"] Copa, it is very difficult for me to answer your quandary. I will very likely never see my schizophrenic son ever again. I do not know where he is and he was given a restraining order not to see or contact me. That being said, I would hug your son, if I were you, and cherish every moment...the good and the bad. You want him to stay on his antiviral medicine, so I feel that kiclking him out is not an option. You are also better, overall, having him in your life. Yes, you have a complete right to have rules. He needs normal structure. But, you cannot plan his activities or goals. Besides, he needs to want to accomplish these things. He needs to develop intrinsic rewards, as opposed to, extrinsic rewards. My eldest smoked marijuana, without my knowledge. There are a lot of studies that feel that it can trigger paranoia and delusions, even schizophrenia. At the very least, a person may develop avolition. I would put basic rules in place. He is taking what he can. Why not use his SSI money for marijuana, if he is helped out with food when he runs out of money? Why have goals if he does not need to earn more money to support himself? Stick to a reasonable rent. Do not waver from it. Then, maybe, you could raise it $50 in 6 months and let him know now. He would have to up the game plan. Let him work for M. If his life is made too easy, what motivation will he have? HE needs to want to change. He is doing just enough to get by. He likes his lifestyle. You are the one that does not like it. HE needs to want to have goals and a better life. Do not kick him out. Have firm realistic rules. But, you cannot micromanage his life. He needs to take some responsibility and be an adult. He needs to feel good about himself. He needs to do it for himself and not be told. Yes, I am the same way with my 'gentle' nudging/nagging. But, he will resent it and it will undermine any feelings of self esteem or accomplishment that he might garner. Again, hug him and be thankful that he is with you. My opinion is very warped by my loss, but there it is... [/QUOTE]
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