Copa, I think you are a bit too enmeshed with your son. And WAY too hard on yourself and your son. You did a great job as his mom. You really did.
I think you need to reframe some of your thinking. It isn't that you won't always be happy with his choices, or you may not like them, it is that you don't have to like them. You absolutely, 100% do not have to like your son's choices. That is perfectly okay. You can still love him and enjoy him and know you are a great mom and still HATE some of his choices.
He may never be comfortable being "out and about" the way you want. Some of us just are not built to be comfortable that way. It doesn't feel natural to us. We are okay not being out and about, and being forced into it makes us feel really bad. We try to do it for people we love who seem to think we need it for some reason, but we don't understand it, and we truly don't feel the need for it. It can feel truly awful to us depending on the circumstances.
What is right for you may or may not be right for your son. You may need to accept that what you need, what is right for you, is not right for him.
