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<blockquote data-quote="Dr. Douglas Riley" data-source="post: 253754" data-attributes="member: 6888"><p>To SLR regarding "won't versus can't." What an important issue. In my experience with the youngest exploders, the acting out is very rarely on purpose (with the exception of the young ODD kids, who act out as a means for pulling equal with the parent in the power structure). Their symptoms almost always have a hidden cause. There is a five year old girl that I recently saw who threw massive fits at bed time, and banged on her parents door until they let her into bed with them. They initially saw it as "won't" sleep in her own room, using your terms. I indicated to them that when young children act this way, there is almost always a powerful fear driving the behavior. In her case, she was afraid that her mother would die during the night, but had never articulated anything like that to her parents. Her mother was stunned to learn this. Examples like this show why you have to look beyond the observable behavior and find the underlying cause. I love the language of "won't" versus "can't." This child clearly could not rest easily at night due to her fears (doing much better now by the way).</p><p> </p><p>To steph3306, re your son's anger: Children in the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) spectrum are often exquisitely sensitive to what I refer to as "roadmap" issues. As long as things go as they expected, they can be pretty peaceful. When faced with something they did not expect, they will explode. This is likely to get better as he ages, assuming that you do not begin to totally walk on egg shells and spend all of your time trying to make sure that his life is totally predictable - doing so only makes them more reactive to change, and never teaches them to deal with anything unexpected. That said, he may continue to be sensitive to unexpected events as part of the overall package. Do your best, though, to expose him to unexpected events to desensitize him to change as best as you can.</p><p> </p><p>With the young children that I see at my office who are chronically cranky or explosive, there is often an underlying food sensitivity. Very few doctors of any sort are up to speed on this issue (I had to learn about it due to issues in my own family). Does he have sandpaper rash on his wrists, or excema, or cherry red cheeks or red ears? If so, this is quite often due to a sensitivity to milk and milk-based products. There may also be underlying environmental allergies, or chemical sensitivities that have not been diagnosed. Also, given the nature of smart, autistic kids, he might get set off by something that he can't do perfectly, words that you did not say correctly, and so on. Look for patterns.</p><p> </p><p>Best regards, Doug Riley</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Dr. Douglas Riley, post: 253754, member: 6888"] To SLR regarding "won't versus can't." What an important issue. In my experience with the youngest exploders, the acting out is very rarely on purpose (with the exception of the young ODD kids, who act out as a means for pulling equal with the parent in the power structure). Their symptoms almost always have a hidden cause. There is a five year old girl that I recently saw who threw massive fits at bed time, and banged on her parents door until they let her into bed with them. They initially saw it as "won't" sleep in her own room, using your terms. I indicated to them that when young children act this way, there is almost always a powerful fear driving the behavior. In her case, she was afraid that her mother would die during the night, but had never articulated anything like that to her parents. Her mother was stunned to learn this. Examples like this show why you have to look beyond the observable behavior and find the underlying cause. I love the language of "won't" versus "can't." This child clearly could not rest easily at night due to her fears (doing much better now by the way). To steph3306, re your son's anger: Children in the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) spectrum are often exquisitely sensitive to what I refer to as "roadmap" issues. As long as things go as they expected, they can be pretty peaceful. When faced with something they did not expect, they will explode. This is likely to get better as he ages, assuming that you do not begin to totally walk on egg shells and spend all of your time trying to make sure that his life is totally predictable - doing so only makes them more reactive to change, and never teaches them to deal with anything unexpected. That said, he may continue to be sensitive to unexpected events as part of the overall package. Do your best, though, to expose him to unexpected events to desensitize him to change as best as you can. With the young children that I see at my office who are chronically cranky or explosive, there is often an underlying food sensitivity. Very few doctors of any sort are up to speed on this issue (I had to learn about it due to issues in my own family). Does he have sandpaper rash on his wrists, or excema, or cherry red cheeks or red ears? If so, this is quite often due to a sensitivity to milk and milk-based products. There may also be underlying environmental allergies, or chemical sensitivities that have not been diagnosed. Also, given the nature of smart, autistic kids, he might get set off by something that he can't do perfectly, words that you did not say correctly, and so on. Look for patterns. Best regards, Doug Riley [/QUOTE]
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