Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Dream job description for a parent:
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="hexemaus2" data-source="post: 197263" data-attributes="member: 4560"><p>I'd be living the dream life if this were my only job description as a parent:</p><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><p style="text-align: center"><strong><u><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'">PARENT</span></span></u></strong><strong><u><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"> - Job Description </span></span></u></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!! </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><u><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">POSITION :</span></span></strong></u></p> <p style="text-align: center"><em><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">Mom, Mommy, Mama , Ma</span></span></strong></em></p> <p style="text-align: center"><em><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop</span></span></strong></em></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><u><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">JOB DESCRIPTION :</span></span></strong></u></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">Long term, team players needed, for challenging, </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">permanent work in an often chaotic environment. </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">Candidates must possess excellent communication </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">and organizational skills and be willing to work </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">Some overnight travel required, including trips to </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">Travel expenses not reimbursed. </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">Extensive courier duties also required. </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><u><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">RESPONSIBILITIES :</span></span></strong></u></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">The rest of your life. </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">until someone needs $5. </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">Also, must possess the physical stamina of a </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">pack mule </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">in case, this time, the screams from </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggis h toilets </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">and stuck zippers. </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">coordinate production of multiple homework projects. </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">an embarrassment the next. </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">Must assume final, complete accountability for </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">the quality of the end product. </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">janitorial work throughout the facility. </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><u><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :</span></span></strong></u></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">None. </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><u><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE</span></span></strong></u><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black"> :</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">None required unfortunately.</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><u><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">WAGES AND COMPENSATION</span></span></strong></u><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black"> :</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">Get this! You pay them! </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">Offering frequent raises and bonuses. </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">of the assumption that college will help them </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">become financially independent. </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">When you die, you give them whatever is left. </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><u><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">BENEFITS</span></span></strong></u><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black"> :</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">While no health or dental insurance, no pension, </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">no stock options are offered; </span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="color: black">and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">** AND A FOOTNOTE, THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: navy"><strong>This job sounds like a dream compared to the job of parenting a difficult child!!!</strong></span></span></span></p> </p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hexemaus2, post: 197263, member: 4560"] I'd be living the dream life if this were my only job description as a parent: [CENTER][B][U][COLOR=black][FONT=Garamond]PARENT[/FONT][/COLOR][/U][/B][B][U][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Garamond] - Job Description [/FONT][/COLOR][/U][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!! [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [U][B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]POSITION :[/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/U] [I][B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]Mom, Mommy, Mama , Ma[/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/I] [I][B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop[/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/I] [U][B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]JOB DESCRIPTION :[/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/U] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]Long term, team players needed, for challenging, [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]permanent work in an often chaotic environment. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]Candidates must possess excellent communication [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]and organizational skills and be willing to work [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]Some overnight travel required, including trips to [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]Travel expenses not reimbursed. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]Extensive courier duties also required. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [U][B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]RESPONSIBILITIES :[/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/U] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]The rest of your life. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]until someone needs $5. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]Also, must possess the physical stamina of a [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]pack mule [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]in case, this time, the screams from [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggis h toilets [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]and stuck zippers. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]coordinate production of multiple homework projects. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]an embarrassment the next. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]Must assume final, complete accountability for [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]the quality of the end product. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]janitorial work throughout the facility. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [U][B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :[/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/U] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]None. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [U][B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE[/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/U][B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black] :[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]None required unfortunately.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [U][B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]WAGES AND COMPENSATION[/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/U][B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black] :[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]Get this! You pay them! [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]Offering frequent raises and bonuses. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]of the assumption that college will help them [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]become financially independent. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]When you die, you give them whatever is left. [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [U][B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]BENEFITS[/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/U][B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black] :[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]While no health or dental insurance, no pension, [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]no stock options are offered; [/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][COLOR=black]and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.[/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]** AND A FOOTNOTE, THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [CENTER][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4][COLOR=navy][B]This job sounds like a dream compared to the job of parenting a difficult child!!![/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Dream job description for a parent:
Top