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Substance Abuse
drugs again !
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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 706717" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>Teriobe</p><p></p><p>Welcome and glad that you found us. You have gotten great advice here already.</p><p></p><p>My son never went to prison but he sure was headed that way. We went through a lot with him from age 15-20 and then I found this site. After many years of struggling and not finding anything that helped him or us, I read others' stories here and gained strength to move him out of our home. He was only 20 and it was very hard on me. I realized I had to let go and let him grow up and so glad that I did. He was ruining our family and our marriage and I didn't even want to go home after work. He was ruining our lives. How can someone you love so much and want the best for be ruining your life? I envied those that I knew went home from work to a peaceful evening.</p><p></p><p>My advice is to pull away from your son and work on yourself. Nothing YOU have done thus far has helped him. HE is an adult and HE has to choose what kind of person HE wants to be. The days of mommy are long gone. He needs to stand on his own two feet. See a therapist to help you set boundaries with him. </p><p></p><p>You can love him unconditionally but your relationship does have conditions. That is okay! I learned that from my therapist. I did not know that.</p><p></p><p>I definitely would NEVER let him live in your home again. I would make that very clear to him immediately so he can think about what HE is going to do once he is released. He has to figure his life out on his own. You are not going to live forever. I don't know your age but I imagine you are close to my age and it's time to enjoy YOUR life. </p><p></p><p>You only feel guilty if you let yourself. You have nothing to feel guilty for. Have some self compassion. We all forget how hard this is on us. It will only stop if you set firm boundaries with him. He needs that as much as you do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 706717, member: 15032"] Teriobe Welcome and glad that you found us. You have gotten great advice here already. My son never went to prison but he sure was headed that way. We went through a lot with him from age 15-20 and then I found this site. After many years of struggling and not finding anything that helped him or us, I read others' stories here and gained strength to move him out of our home. He was only 20 and it was very hard on me. I realized I had to let go and let him grow up and so glad that I did. He was ruining our family and our marriage and I didn't even want to go home after work. He was ruining our lives. How can someone you love so much and want the best for be ruining your life? I envied those that I knew went home from work to a peaceful evening. My advice is to pull away from your son and work on yourself. Nothing YOU have done thus far has helped him. HE is an adult and HE has to choose what kind of person HE wants to be. The days of mommy are long gone. He needs to stand on his own two feet. See a therapist to help you set boundaries with him. You can love him unconditionally but your relationship does have conditions. That is okay! I learned that from my therapist. I did not know that. I definitely would NEVER let him live in your home again. I would make that very clear to him immediately so he can think about what HE is going to do once he is released. He has to figure his life out on his own. You are not going to live forever. I don't know your age but I imagine you are close to my age and it's time to enjoy YOUR life. You only feel guilty if you let yourself. You have nothing to feel guilty for. Have some self compassion. We all forget how hard this is on us. It will only stop if you set firm boundaries with him. He needs that as much as you do. [/QUOTE]
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