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easy child broke my heart this weekend! Should I stilll......
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 548828" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Well....I think a lot of feelings about easy child and her childhood with difficult child came into play here, maybe things she didn't express before. And it sounds like she is used to your doing whatever she tells you to do maybe or maybe not because you usually oblige her. I'm sorry all this happened, but in no way would I destroy my relationship with my child over this. You're angry now, but I'll bet, after a cooling off period, you and easy child will feel better about one another and you will probably regret allowing this one day to come between the two of you. </p><p></p><p>As a non-smoker, I am probably just as sensitive to smoking as easy child and don't want to be anywhere near it. Would I tell somebody rudely to get away because he smoked? Well, I'm going to be 59 so I probably wouldn't, but I'd want to. Whether or not difficult child was trying to help, easy child has years of bad memories of him and you can't change that. She has to grow up and decide how she feels about him herself. One good intention doesn't wipe away a childhood of bad memories. </p><p></p><p>I am right there with CJ. I do not overly involve myself in my grown children's lives. I neither over-help them or get overly involved in their decisions, assuming they can and will learn the same way I did...by trial and error. If I see them making a huge mistake, I may bring it up in a passive way such as, "Is this what you really want? Did you think it over?" But that's it. in my opinion, maybe you still do too much for your grown kids??? I don't know. I always think it's a bad idea to give money to grown children, especially a lot of money. They just remain more dependent on us and don't grow up...they start to expect us to fund them when they need $$$. After 21, in my opinion, they should be paying their own bills.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry you are hurting. I agree that it's best to not dwell on it. Maybe do something REALLY NICE for yourself today. Baby yourself. Spoil yourself. You raised your kids and you deserve to enjoy your own life now <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 548828, member: 1550"] Well....I think a lot of feelings about easy child and her childhood with difficult child came into play here, maybe things she didn't express before. And it sounds like she is used to your doing whatever she tells you to do maybe or maybe not because you usually oblige her. I'm sorry all this happened, but in no way would I destroy my relationship with my child over this. You're angry now, but I'll bet, after a cooling off period, you and easy child will feel better about one another and you will probably regret allowing this one day to come between the two of you. As a non-smoker, I am probably just as sensitive to smoking as easy child and don't want to be anywhere near it. Would I tell somebody rudely to get away because he smoked? Well, I'm going to be 59 so I probably wouldn't, but I'd want to. Whether or not difficult child was trying to help, easy child has years of bad memories of him and you can't change that. She has to grow up and decide how she feels about him herself. One good intention doesn't wipe away a childhood of bad memories. I am right there with CJ. I do not overly involve myself in my grown children's lives. I neither over-help them or get overly involved in their decisions, assuming they can and will learn the same way I did...by trial and error. If I see them making a huge mistake, I may bring it up in a passive way such as, "Is this what you really want? Did you think it over?" But that's it. in my opinion, maybe you still do too much for your grown kids??? I don't know. I always think it's a bad idea to give money to grown children, especially a lot of money. They just remain more dependent on us and don't grow up...they start to expect us to fund them when they need $$$. After 21, in my opinion, they should be paying their own bills. I'm sorry you are hurting. I agree that it's best to not dwell on it. Maybe do something REALLY NICE for yourself today. Baby yourself. Spoil yourself. You raised your kids and you deserve to enjoy your own life now :) [/QUOTE]
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easy child broke my heart this weekend! Should I stilll......
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