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easy child?? gggrrrrr
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 406129" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>That makes it very curious as to how her name would be on the phone unless either she had it or she actually got it from someone who stole or borrowed it from him. It is still possible that someone she knows let her play a game on it, but makes you wonder who that would be. If she cannot give you a name for that person, then you may need to assume she has had it this long. In which case, where has she been keeping it? What other stuff is hidden in her room or locker?? </p><p> </p><p>I think a thorough search of her room and having mom show up to go through her locker and backpack at school should be another of her consequences. It is unlikely that having experienced the thrill of acquiring something by stealing that she would have stopped. It is more probably that she owuld have stolen other things because she didn't get caught right away. So the search, esp with eh Dec game scores, is more than justified, in my opinion. If she is upset that you are "violating her privacy", remind her that at her age she is not able to legally enter a contract and a purchase is a contract between buyer and seller. Therefore, she legally owns NOTHING - you and husband own it ALL. Period. Plus, as a minor, YOU and husband are the guardians of all of "her" possessions and earnings. Period. It is a legal thing that teens HATE to be reminded of, but it IS the law. Plus you own the house, or rent or whatever. She does NOT.</p><p> </p><p>Losing her door so she cannot hide anything she steals may be a consequence to think about or to give if you find other items of questionable ownership/provenance.</p><p> </p><p>This IS a pretty typical teen issue, sadly. I HATED being a teen in my father's house, and hate sending my kids over there once they turn 12 because no matter how honest I was/they are, my father believes firmly that every single teen is a thief and will take anything portable if left alone for twenty seconds. Jessica is refusing to go over because she is tired of being accused. The last time my mother sent Jess into mom's bathroom to try something on. Twenty minutes later my dad came out and accused her of stealing $60 from under his computer. My mom was with her all but 5 seconds and it takes longer than that to go back to his desk. There is NO WAY she could have done it. My mom was furious because my father had given her the $$ an hour before Jess was over there but he still accused Jess.</p><p> </p><p>I lived with those accusations every time anything went missing even though I had a job, allowance, and bothlunch and breakfast money - more than enough money to cover my expenses by quite a long shot. My brother would always blame me even when the money was found on his person or in his room - saying I hid it there. My dad was a jr high teacher and it warped his views on what "all" teens did. I have strong aspie traits and was told and shown that stealing was wrong and hurt people so I went WAY out of my way not to steal. Still do. I used to get laughed at by cashiers at the grocery when the kids were little. If they were hungry I would take 1 banana or an apple and pay for it so they could eat it while we shopped. I had store managers tell me to just let them eat it and nto worry about it a LOT of times, but I still paid for it. I was that way as a kid too - never even stole penny candy when all the other kdis did. I even would pay for the candy the other kids had - even if it meant I didn't get any because I couldn't buy mine and pay for what they were stealing. It was a problem with a gfgbro, Know what I mean??</p><p> </p><p>So being accused of theft by my dad really hurt - a LOT. But it is something many "normal" teens go through. Just ask the people at school or the cops.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 406129, member: 1233"] That makes it very curious as to how her name would be on the phone unless either she had it or she actually got it from someone who stole or borrowed it from him. It is still possible that someone she knows let her play a game on it, but makes you wonder who that would be. If she cannot give you a name for that person, then you may need to assume she has had it this long. In which case, where has she been keeping it? What other stuff is hidden in her room or locker?? I think a thorough search of her room and having mom show up to go through her locker and backpack at school should be another of her consequences. It is unlikely that having experienced the thrill of acquiring something by stealing that she would have stopped. It is more probably that she owuld have stolen other things because she didn't get caught right away. So the search, esp with eh Dec game scores, is more than justified, in my opinion. If she is upset that you are "violating her privacy", remind her that at her age she is not able to legally enter a contract and a purchase is a contract between buyer and seller. Therefore, she legally owns NOTHING - you and husband own it ALL. Period. Plus, as a minor, YOU and husband are the guardians of all of "her" possessions and earnings. Period. It is a legal thing that teens HATE to be reminded of, but it IS the law. Plus you own the house, or rent or whatever. She does NOT. Losing her door so she cannot hide anything she steals may be a consequence to think about or to give if you find other items of questionable ownership/provenance. This IS a pretty typical teen issue, sadly. I HATED being a teen in my father's house, and hate sending my kids over there once they turn 12 because no matter how honest I was/they are, my father believes firmly that every single teen is a thief and will take anything portable if left alone for twenty seconds. Jessica is refusing to go over because she is tired of being accused. The last time my mother sent Jess into mom's bathroom to try something on. Twenty minutes later my dad came out and accused her of stealing $60 from under his computer. My mom was with her all but 5 seconds and it takes longer than that to go back to his desk. There is NO WAY she could have done it. My mom was furious because my father had given her the $$ an hour before Jess was over there but he still accused Jess. I lived with those accusations every time anything went missing even though I had a job, allowance, and bothlunch and breakfast money - more than enough money to cover my expenses by quite a long shot. My brother would always blame me even when the money was found on his person or in his room - saying I hid it there. My dad was a jr high teacher and it warped his views on what "all" teens did. I have strong aspie traits and was told and shown that stealing was wrong and hurt people so I went WAY out of my way not to steal. Still do. I used to get laughed at by cashiers at the grocery when the kids were little. If they were hungry I would take 1 banana or an apple and pay for it so they could eat it while we shopped. I had store managers tell me to just let them eat it and nto worry about it a LOT of times, but I still paid for it. I was that way as a kid too - never even stole penny candy when all the other kdis did. I even would pay for the candy the other kids had - even if it meant I didn't get any because I couldn't buy mine and pay for what they were stealing. It was a problem with a gfgbro, Know what I mean?? So being accused of theft by my dad really hurt - a LOT. But it is something many "normal" teens go through. Just ask the people at school or the cops. [/QUOTE]
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