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easy child has "come out" and now I have some questions...
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 171077" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>TMc - </p><p> </p><p>HI THERE kiddo. Long time no talky. Fingers broke? lol. ahem. </p><p> </p><p>You know - no one makes a person gay. No upbringing or surroundings "make or force" anyone to change their sexual preference from what's considered normal male-female relationship. </p><p> </p><p>And Janet - um, knew it. No surprises, you're a very loving person. </p><p> </p><p>I grew up around a lot of gay people. (We showed dogs). The lifestyle of men/men made my dad uncomfortable. My Mom figured if you weren't coming on to her she was fine with it. Very much a too each his own sort of thinker. </p><p> </p><p>At one time due to the abuse when he was little I considered that Dude may be gay. We talked about it in therapy and while our therapist is faith based - his reaction to the entire situation was very cool. Another hate the sin and not the sinner type thinker -and also too each his own. </p><p> </p><p>I know for a fact it is NOT how you raise a child because if it were? I think all the gay marriage couples I knew who adopted kids would have kids that were gay especially after being raised in a gay household. And they are not. </p><p> </p><p>It's an old question you know - are they born or do they learn it? I see a lot of ads in newspapers that say Bi-curious. And maybe at this point? That's what she is - Bi-curious. The fact that she felt comfortable enough about her own self to come out and tell you? THAT speaks more to her personality and character than the stigma of being "gay". She's self assured, she's confident, she's a kid - she's maybe not gay maybe curious. Hard to tell. </p><p> </p><p>As far as your husband and your relationship and the **** that it has endured being the "cause" of your daughter seeking out a woman for a relationship? Not likely. Does she feel safer with a woman? Well honey let me tell you - there's just as much domestic violence in same sex relationships as there are single sex relationships. I had a friend that used to tease me saying after my divorce I should really just give up on men and find a good woman - and I said - If I dont' get myself straight in my mind NO relationship will ever work out man or woman. And then added "And besides after seeing the choices I make for partners? A woman would probably beat me too." (lol) </p><p> </p><p>Actually Mom - there is NOTHING you can do about this at all but try to understand that it is HER life and HER choices. And FYI - not every person that is gay gives out good advice. Just because she's gay doesn't make her an expert on relationships. And while your hairdresser may have some insight on the feelings, if you want to know about whats going on with your daughter? Ask HER. </p><p> </p><p>You should sit down and ask your daughter and give her support. In 10 years - this wont matter to anyone as HER life will be 10 years older and hers, just as much as it is NOW. </p><p> </p><p>And the baby Joey ? OMG could just pinch his cheeks! WHAT a georgeous baby! </p><p> </p><p>Miss ya - thanks for thinking of us - </p><p>Star not gay and not homophobic. lol</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 171077, member: 4964"] TMc - HI THERE kiddo. Long time no talky. Fingers broke? lol. ahem. You know - no one makes a person gay. No upbringing or surroundings "make or force" anyone to change their sexual preference from what's considered normal male-female relationship. And Janet - um, knew it. No surprises, you're a very loving person. I grew up around a lot of gay people. (We showed dogs). The lifestyle of men/men made my dad uncomfortable. My Mom figured if you weren't coming on to her she was fine with it. Very much a too each his own sort of thinker. At one time due to the abuse when he was little I considered that Dude may be gay. We talked about it in therapy and while our therapist is faith based - his reaction to the entire situation was very cool. Another hate the sin and not the sinner type thinker -and also too each his own. I know for a fact it is NOT how you raise a child because if it were? I think all the gay marriage couples I knew who adopted kids would have kids that were gay especially after being raised in a gay household. And they are not. It's an old question you know - are they born or do they learn it? I see a lot of ads in newspapers that say Bi-curious. And maybe at this point? That's what she is - Bi-curious. The fact that she felt comfortable enough about her own self to come out and tell you? THAT speaks more to her personality and character than the stigma of being "gay". She's self assured, she's confident, she's a kid - she's maybe not gay maybe curious. Hard to tell. As far as your husband and your relationship and the **** that it has endured being the "cause" of your daughter seeking out a woman for a relationship? Not likely. Does she feel safer with a woman? Well honey let me tell you - there's just as much domestic violence in same sex relationships as there are single sex relationships. I had a friend that used to tease me saying after my divorce I should really just give up on men and find a good woman - and I said - If I dont' get myself straight in my mind NO relationship will ever work out man or woman. And then added "And besides after seeing the choices I make for partners? A woman would probably beat me too." (lol) Actually Mom - there is NOTHING you can do about this at all but try to understand that it is HER life and HER choices. And FYI - not every person that is gay gives out good advice. Just because she's gay doesn't make her an expert on relationships. And while your hairdresser may have some insight on the feelings, if you want to know about whats going on with your daughter? Ask HER. You should sit down and ask your daughter and give her support. In 10 years - this wont matter to anyone as HER life will be 10 years older and hers, just as much as it is NOW. And the baby Joey ? OMG could just pinch his cheeks! WHAT a georgeous baby! Miss ya - thanks for thinking of us - Star not gay and not homophobic. lol [/QUOTE]
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easy child has "come out" and now I have some questions...
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