Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
easy child won't move home
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="jbrain" data-source="post: 266809" data-attributes="member: 3450"><p>I agree with Susie. I really think easy child has found a viable solution for now. My younger dtr was abused by the older one and she felt trapped. She often asked if we could build her her own place or build a treehouse for her, or a secret room, etc. She dissociated to be able to escape and has now been in therapy for 4 yrs and still has a ways to go. Our house is a major trigger for her--so many bad things happened to her there. She is very much looking forward to being able to go away next year (doing a gap year program overseas) where she doesn't have to be constantly reminded of her sister and what happened.</p><p></p><p>Your dtr too was violated by your difficult child--she needs to feel she has control over her life. That has been the biggest thing with my dtr--she becomes withdrawn and helpless and depressed when she feels she does not have control. She also has a lot of anger over not being protected by us, her parents, and I have had to acknowledge she has every right to be angry even if I didn't know what was going on at the time. We have had to do a lot of work to repair our damaged relationship--mostly me validating that her feelings matched what was going on and that I made mistakes that caused her harm. I'm not guilt ridden or defensive, I would surely do things differently if I could do them over. Most importantly, I am there for her now and I have made the stand that her sister cannot live in our house. I had to make that decision when her sister was only 18 but I had to be sure that M knew she would be safe now, that it was her turn to come first with us.</p><p></p><p>Okay, I got rambling, just wanted to say basically that I support your easy child's decision and I am glad you aren't "forcing" her back home.</p><p></p><p>Best,</p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jbrain, post: 266809, member: 3450"] I agree with Susie. I really think easy child has found a viable solution for now. My younger dtr was abused by the older one and she felt trapped. She often asked if we could build her her own place or build a treehouse for her, or a secret room, etc. She dissociated to be able to escape and has now been in therapy for 4 yrs and still has a ways to go. Our house is a major trigger for her--so many bad things happened to her there. She is very much looking forward to being able to go away next year (doing a gap year program overseas) where she doesn't have to be constantly reminded of her sister and what happened. Your dtr too was violated by your difficult child--she needs to feel she has control over her life. That has been the biggest thing with my dtr--she becomes withdrawn and helpless and depressed when she feels she does not have control. She also has a lot of anger over not being protected by us, her parents, and I have had to acknowledge she has every right to be angry even if I didn't know what was going on at the time. We have had to do a lot of work to repair our damaged relationship--mostly me validating that her feelings matched what was going on and that I made mistakes that caused her harm. I'm not guilt ridden or defensive, I would surely do things differently if I could do them over. Most importantly, I am there for her now and I have made the stand that her sister cannot live in our house. I had to make that decision when her sister was only 18 but I had to be sure that M knew she would be safe now, that it was her turn to come first with us. Okay, I got rambling, just wanted to say basically that I support your easy child's decision and I am glad you aren't "forcing" her back home. Best, Jane [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
easy child won't move home
Top