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easy child won't move home
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<blockquote data-quote="jbrain" data-source="post: 267179" data-attributes="member: 3450"><p>Your easy child could probably benefit from EMDR therapy. You do take the things out of the box but you don't shred them, you process them and take away their "power" so to speak. I've been doing EMDR therapy with my dtr's therapist for some anxiety issues and I can tell you I am feeling so much better now. </p><p></p><p>My younger dtr is also doing EMDR and her issues are much greater so it is taking a lot longer but she has made a lot of progress. She is now to the point where she has to talk about things that she is feeling great shame about though and that is very difficult to do. She feels she doesn't deserve to be happy--her sister told her she was a bad person over and over and she internalized that. She hears her sister's voice in her head all the time telling her how bad she is. She also got involved with boyfriends who were sort of abusive--they reinforced the opinion that she was bad. Her therapist says those relationships slowed down the therapy quite a bit though they do serve as "learning experiences".</p><p></p><p>I really feel for your easy child, she sounds a lot like my dtr. What I have learned from my dtr's therapist is to be there in an open, curious way. I listen to her and I validate her feelings though I disagree with her thoughts. I have to be strong enough too to hear how I let her down through those years with difficult child. I don't make excuses or try to defend myself. What she experienced was real and harmful and I can't deny that. Perhaps if she had been less sensitive she could have weathered it better or would have fought back. But she is who she is and it hurt her deeply. Her therapist points out to her that I have been working on my own issues too and that I am there for her now and I think that helps. I can't change the past but I can change the present and I think she does trust me now.</p><p></p><p>Wow, rambling again! I guess I should start my own thread.....sorry!</p><p></p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jbrain, post: 267179, member: 3450"] Your easy child could probably benefit from EMDR therapy. You do take the things out of the box but you don't shred them, you process them and take away their "power" so to speak. I've been doing EMDR therapy with my dtr's therapist for some anxiety issues and I can tell you I am feeling so much better now. My younger dtr is also doing EMDR and her issues are much greater so it is taking a lot longer but she has made a lot of progress. She is now to the point where she has to talk about things that she is feeling great shame about though and that is very difficult to do. She feels she doesn't deserve to be happy--her sister told her she was a bad person over and over and she internalized that. She hears her sister's voice in her head all the time telling her how bad she is. She also got involved with boyfriends who were sort of abusive--they reinforced the opinion that she was bad. Her therapist says those relationships slowed down the therapy quite a bit though they do serve as "learning experiences". I really feel for your easy child, she sounds a lot like my dtr. What I have learned from my dtr's therapist is to be there in an open, curious way. I listen to her and I validate her feelings though I disagree with her thoughts. I have to be strong enough too to hear how I let her down through those years with difficult child. I don't make excuses or try to defend myself. What she experienced was real and harmful and I can't deny that. Perhaps if she had been less sensitive she could have weathered it better or would have fought back. But she is who she is and it hurt her deeply. Her therapist points out to her that I have been working on my own issues too and that I am there for her now and I think that helps. I can't change the past but I can change the present and I think she does trust me now. Wow, rambling again! I guess I should start my own thread.....sorry! Jane [/QUOTE]
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