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easy child's "little problem"
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 130898" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>For now, I'd start with drug testing as part of her life right now and, yes, you'll have to watch her to make sure she isn't cheating after the first one. I've known of more than kid to keep a hidden supply around for random tests once they know parents are going to test.</p><p> </p><p>As to refusing to cooperate in therapy, what would happen if you quit cooperating with her needs and wants at home until she starts cooperating? That is, she washes her own clothes, fixes her own food, etc. She's certainly old enough to do all of this. So, go on a Mom strike. She doesn't have to eat with the family. She doesn't deserve to interact with them if she can't treat them civilly. You certainly don't want to do those things, they're called chores for a reason. </p><p> </p><p>She doesn't want to see a therapist or share anything with him. Fine, you quit doing the stuff she thinks she needs done for her (and that would include buying a bus pass at all -- it's obvious she can walk to school if she's doing it this week, anyway).</p><p> </p><p>As for her behavior in public, I'd not allow her out until she started treating others better. Seems logical to me -- if you can't be nice around others, there's no reason to be around others unless absolutely necessary. So, school, doctor, dentist, therapist are necessities. The mall, after-school activities, friends aren't. I'd still allow friends to come over so long as everyone in the house was treated civilly. When that stopped, the friend would be told leave immediately.</p><p> </p><p>Obviously, if she's truly mentally ill, none of this will work. She'll continue with her behavior because she can't control it. However, if it is drug use or other behavorial issues, it will. It will take time, a lot of grief and even more patience on your part to see it through, but it will ultimately make a difference.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 130898, member: 3626"] For now, I'd start with drug testing as part of her life right now and, yes, you'll have to watch her to make sure she isn't cheating after the first one. I've known of more than kid to keep a hidden supply around for random tests once they know parents are going to test. As to refusing to cooperate in therapy, what would happen if you quit cooperating with her needs and wants at home until she starts cooperating? That is, she washes her own clothes, fixes her own food, etc. She's certainly old enough to do all of this. So, go on a Mom strike. She doesn't have to eat with the family. She doesn't deserve to interact with them if she can't treat them civilly. You certainly don't want to do those things, they're called chores for a reason. She doesn't want to see a therapist or share anything with him. Fine, you quit doing the stuff she thinks she needs done for her (and that would include buying a bus pass at all -- it's obvious she can walk to school if she's doing it this week, anyway). As for her behavior in public, I'd not allow her out until she started treating others better. Seems logical to me -- if you can't be nice around others, there's no reason to be around others unless absolutely necessary. So, school, doctor, dentist, therapist are necessities. The mall, after-school activities, friends aren't. I'd still allow friends to come over so long as everyone in the house was treated civilly. When that stopped, the friend would be told leave immediately. Obviously, if she's truly mentally ill, none of this will work. She'll continue with her behavior because she can't control it. However, if it is drug use or other behavorial issues, it will. It will take time, a lot of grief and even more patience on your part to see it through, but it will ultimately make a difference. [/QUOTE]
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