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Parent Emeritus
Ebbs and flows - It's bad again... feel like I'm falling. Wisdom?
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 401539" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>Bean, I'm so sorry to hear that your daughter is continuing down this path and that your parents have decided to go along for the ride. I wouldn't let myself think in terms of "they're moving away next year and this is the time I must make right." Distance isn't going to make them not your parents or you not their daughter. I think it's unrealistic to assume that your daughter will go with them, and I think that the more distance that they put between them and her will allow them a better focus.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime, all we have is this very moment in time. I would do my best to stand by my decision to not involve myself in the drama. To do that you will have to not stay in the know as far as her bad behavior. Remind yourself that she is an adult and making her own decisions. You taught her right from wrong and you can't be held accountable for what she does. It seems to me that your parents are at least in part allowing her bad behavior to lay blame of bad parenting at your feet. That's bad parenting on their part. Good, bad, or indifferent there comes a time when we let our children go. They need to stop being judgmental of you and enabling to her, but this isn't a choice you can make for them. Do your best to take care of yourself and live a life that you can be proud of. Time and distance has a way of changing people and how they feel about things. Let it happen.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 401539, member: 99"] Bean, I'm so sorry to hear that your daughter is continuing down this path and that your parents have decided to go along for the ride. I wouldn't let myself think in terms of "they're moving away next year and this is the time I must make right." Distance isn't going to make them not your parents or you not their daughter. I think it's unrealistic to assume that your daughter will go with them, and I think that the more distance that they put between them and her will allow them a better focus. In the meantime, all we have is this very moment in time. I would do my best to stand by my decision to not involve myself in the drama. To do that you will have to not stay in the know as far as her bad behavior. Remind yourself that she is an adult and making her own decisions. You taught her right from wrong and you can't be held accountable for what she does. It seems to me that your parents are at least in part allowing her bad behavior to lay blame of bad parenting at your feet. That's bad parenting on their part. Good, bad, or indifferent there comes a time when we let our children go. They need to stop being judgmental of you and enabling to her, but this isn't a choice you can make for them. Do your best to take care of yourself and live a life that you can be proud of. Time and distance has a way of changing people and how they feel about things. Let it happen. [/QUOTE]
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Ebbs and flows - It's bad again... feel like I'm falling. Wisdom?
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