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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 484789" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>No, it wasn't J who was rubbing backs - that was an older child but I can't remember whose now <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> </p><p>It's a complicated one, isn't it, because actually J does have empathy for others in certain circumstances, and more highly developed than some children of his age. Quite a few times I have seen him taking care of a younger child or a girl - he is often solicitous towards girls... I guess the example with the dog was because he felt in competition with her for my attention/love. </p><p>On the other hand, he is of course extremely egocentric much of the time - finds it almost impossible to lose graciously, very competitive but has to win, meltdowns when he does not get what he wants. Egocentric in the manner of a two year old, therefore, and so it is a developmental problem... </p><p>As for whether I am a good mother... to be honest, I don't analyse it that way <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> I am dealing with certain challenges in myself in parenting (as is every parent, one way or another), and he presents certain challenges that anyone would find difficult. I am reasonably open to learning new approaches, I would think. More than that... Parenting is just very humbling, isn't it, because you find out how extremely hard a job it is. Anyone trying to do their best, whatever that is, gets my vote of confidence.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 484789, member: 11227"] No, it wasn't J who was rubbing backs - that was an older child but I can't remember whose now :) It's a complicated one, isn't it, because actually J does have empathy for others in certain circumstances, and more highly developed than some children of his age. Quite a few times I have seen him taking care of a younger child or a girl - he is often solicitous towards girls... I guess the example with the dog was because he felt in competition with her for my attention/love. On the other hand, he is of course extremely egocentric much of the time - finds it almost impossible to lose graciously, very competitive but has to win, meltdowns when he does not get what he wants. Egocentric in the manner of a two year old, therefore, and so it is a developmental problem... As for whether I am a good mother... to be honest, I don't analyse it that way :) I am dealing with certain challenges in myself in parenting (as is every parent, one way or another), and he presents certain challenges that anyone would find difficult. I am reasonably open to learning new approaches, I would think. More than that... Parenting is just very humbling, isn't it, because you find out how extremely hard a job it is. Anyone trying to do their best, whatever that is, gets my vote of confidence. [/QUOTE]
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