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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Either back into intensive outpatient or sober home for two years
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 391566" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>Thanks for asking.</p><p></p><p>She decided to go back to outpatient and starts next Monday. I have mixed feelings. It's a huge emotional and time commitment on my part and I just don't know if I have it in me to do the parent day every week again unless I see a real change in her commitment. That means she needs to sit up with her feet on the ground and participate and do her homework every night and go to her required AA meetings and show me that she is getting it and not just going through the motions. </p><p></p><p>Some of the things I see on her FB make me suspicious. She has become friends with the guy who was with her when she got arrested on campus for drinking and drug use. Also made friends with a couple other people from her high school class that drink and smoke pot. So she isn't staying away from those she should be. I also found out she's looking at cars on craigs list. She told her friend that she can spend $250-500 and he should look for her. What does she think we are going to say when she drives home with a junk car that she has no insurance on? It tells me that she is thinking of leaving and this may all be a waste of time and money.</p><p></p><p>I went to an al-anon meeting today and I found one tomorrow at the same time and the same place as an AA meeting. I asked husband to go with me and she can go to hers and we will go to ours. I need to detach big time. There is something wrong with me that I can't seem to stop worrying about her and hoping she will change. Why can't I just give up and let happen what happens instead of trying to help her? There must be something really wrong with me that I am so afraid of what she will do. I am a failure at detachment.</p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 391566, member: 59"] Thanks for asking. She decided to go back to outpatient and starts next Monday. I have mixed feelings. It's a huge emotional and time commitment on my part and I just don't know if I have it in me to do the parent day every week again unless I see a real change in her commitment. That means she needs to sit up with her feet on the ground and participate and do her homework every night and go to her required AA meetings and show me that she is getting it and not just going through the motions. Some of the things I see on her FB make me suspicious. She has become friends with the guy who was with her when she got arrested on campus for drinking and drug use. Also made friends with a couple other people from her high school class that drink and smoke pot. So she isn't staying away from those she should be. I also found out she's looking at cars on craigs list. She told her friend that she can spend $250-500 and he should look for her. What does she think we are going to say when she drives home with a junk car that she has no insurance on? It tells me that she is thinking of leaving and this may all be a waste of time and money. I went to an al-anon meeting today and I found one tomorrow at the same time and the same place as an AA meeting. I asked husband to go with me and she can go to hers and we will go to ours. I need to detach big time. There is something wrong with me that I can't seem to stop worrying about her and hoping she will change. Why can't I just give up and let happen what happens instead of trying to help her? There must be something really wrong with me that I am so afraid of what she will do. I am a failure at detachment. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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Either back into intensive outpatient or sober home for two years
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