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General Discussions
Family of Origin
Elder Care & childrens care...guilt...choices...obligations..love..
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 646994" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I know I care. I am outraged at how you are treated. And, like I used to be, your mother saying she loved you (like everyone should expect, right?) made you cry because like me you didn't hear it from anyone else. We were happy for any crumbs.</p><p></p><p>If Gpa gets out his vacuum cleaner and falls, you know whose fault that is? His fault. Sounds like he throws nonstop abuse at you. You don't need t hat, honey. I would let some caregiver do it for him. My hub has VA and he says caregivers are covered under VA. Let him deal with strangers. He has no right to treat you like trash. No right to expect you not to sleep in. No r ight to expect you to do his every bidding. He is an abusive man. Your aunt is also abusive. I hope you lose her too and go your own way.</p><p></p><p>The fact is, most people have others outside of the family taking care of their loved ones. We are not trained to do it and it's not good for them or for us to allow them to pick on us. No, it's not good for Grandpa either to be a tyrant. It makes him think he IS one.</p><p></p><p>You grew up with abuse, like me, and did not know "normal", like me. But you can escape it, like me. I don't even talk to anyone from my family of origin now (except dad and he has rules if he wants to be able to talk to me3). I thought I'd feel lonely and lost if I ever lost contact with my brother and sister, the only DNA connection I really know. Maybe from TV, I overestimated the importance of DNA over those who truly cared for me. So I thought if sis or bro didn't speak to me I was no good. Then it happened and I don't feel bad at all. Instead, I feel relieved, freed, and peaceful.</p><p></p><p>Keep coming back here. We do care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 646994, member: 1550"] I know I care. I am outraged at how you are treated. And, like I used to be, your mother saying she loved you (like everyone should expect, right?) made you cry because like me you didn't hear it from anyone else. We were happy for any crumbs. If Gpa gets out his vacuum cleaner and falls, you know whose fault that is? His fault. Sounds like he throws nonstop abuse at you. You don't need t hat, honey. I would let some caregiver do it for him. My hub has VA and he says caregivers are covered under VA. Let him deal with strangers. He has no right to treat you like trash. No right to expect you not to sleep in. No r ight to expect you to do his every bidding. He is an abusive man. Your aunt is also abusive. I hope you lose her too and go your own way. The fact is, most people have others outside of the family taking care of their loved ones. We are not trained to do it and it's not good for them or for us to allow them to pick on us. No, it's not good for Grandpa either to be a tyrant. It makes him think he IS one. You grew up with abuse, like me, and did not know "normal", like me. But you can escape it, like me. I don't even talk to anyone from my family of origin now (except dad and he has rules if he wants to be able to talk to me3). I thought I'd feel lonely and lost if I ever lost contact with my brother and sister, the only DNA connection I really know. Maybe from TV, I overestimated the importance of DNA over those who truly cared for me. So I thought if sis or bro didn't speak to me I was no good. Then it happened and I don't feel bad at all. Instead, I feel relieved, freed, and peaceful. Keep coming back here. We do care. [/QUOTE]
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Elder Care & childrens care...guilt...choices...obligations..love..
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