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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 466929" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>I think this is a good point, buddy. Yes, I think there is something going on with J - the hyperactivity alone shows that. I started coming here to the forum at a time when I had minimual understanding about all these issues and our interactions basically hellish, for both of us - him raging and defiant, me getting angry. I was treating J like a "normal" child without realising that thereby lies the road to ruin... The forum has actually been tremendously helpful to me (what a wonderful initiative of the people who created it) and has been instrumental in starting a path of learning and reading and experimenting. What I will say about J, even if I cannot say it about children with issues generally, is that it is <strong>not</strong> all set in stone. When I first came here, I had heard of ODD and was thinking it about J all the time, as if it was like a disease that he definitively "had". But now I rarely think about that in relation to him. I think he feels more stable now and less anxious generally - and I feel anxiety lies at the bottom of a lot of his behaviour in a way I can't consciously define or pick apart... </p><p>To be honest, from all my thinking and researching, I feel it is possible that his birth mother drank alcohol when she was pregnant with him. This offers the best explanation for his symptoms - what looks like ADHD in some ways but in other ways really doesn't. But I will never know about that and very few here in France seem to be aware of it either so it's kind of pointless going down the road of fetal alcohol effects. I may get stuck with the label of ADHD that isn't really even accurate... What is coming ahead is the issue of learning difficulties. This year and next will reveal whether he has dyslexia or another of the other 'dys's. It's a long road! But I do see hope and I do believe in my kid, who is really a great little guy despite all the rough edges...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 466929, member: 11227"] I think this is a good point, buddy. Yes, I think there is something going on with J - the hyperactivity alone shows that. I started coming here to the forum at a time when I had minimual understanding about all these issues and our interactions basically hellish, for both of us - him raging and defiant, me getting angry. I was treating J like a "normal" child without realising that thereby lies the road to ruin... The forum has actually been tremendously helpful to me (what a wonderful initiative of the people who created it) and has been instrumental in starting a path of learning and reading and experimenting. What I will say about J, even if I cannot say it about children with issues generally, is that it is [B]not[/B] all set in stone. When I first came here, I had heard of ODD and was thinking it about J all the time, as if it was like a disease that he definitively "had". But now I rarely think about that in relation to him. I think he feels more stable now and less anxious generally - and I feel anxiety lies at the bottom of a lot of his behaviour in a way I can't consciously define or pick apart... To be honest, from all my thinking and researching, I feel it is possible that his birth mother drank alcohol when she was pregnant with him. This offers the best explanation for his symptoms - what looks like ADHD in some ways but in other ways really doesn't. But I will never know about that and very few here in France seem to be aware of it either so it's kind of pointless going down the road of fetal alcohol effects. I may get stuck with the label of ADHD that isn't really even accurate... What is coming ahead is the issue of learning difficulties. This year and next will reveal whether he has dyslexia or another of the other 'dys's. It's a long road! But I do see hope and I do believe in my kid, who is really a great little guy despite all the rough edges... [/QUOTE]
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