That was highly inappropriate for that adviser to do. I have no right whatsoever to my parents financial information any more than my son has to mine. Definitely talk to them about how that affected you. They don't necessarily need details about your private life but they should know better and that is an unethical thing to do.
Never stop hoping, but hope cautiously. Take anything your difficult child does with a grain of salt, good or bad. Remember, one instance of acting out of character for the better doesn't indicate change. True change takes time, LOTS of time! And usually, that time is measured in years. Take consolation in the small positives she's doing, but don't let it lull you into complacency. She may actually be on the road to becoming a better person or it may be a setup. Only time will tell. Refer back to how long true change takes to occur. In the mean time, take care of yourself and enjoy YOUR life! It may be hard to remember sometimes, but your daughter IS an adult and is fully capable of taking care of herself. And yes, it does tend to be easier for us men to detach from our adult difficult children. Its the fathers job to train, prepare, then set them on their course. This has a definitive beginning and ending. The mothers job is to nurture and by the very nature of this job, it NEVER ends which tends to make it much more difficult sometimes for women to let go.
Remember, even when she is on the right path, to be cautious about helping as it can quickly turn back into enabling and sent them back down the wrong road. Be generous in your support but a bit stingy with your help, that way it will be more appreciated when received. Good luck! Here's to cautiously hoping your daughter is finally on the right path.
