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Enabling Gone to Far
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<blockquote data-quote="Wendy23" data-source="post: 664797" data-attributes="member: 17731"><p>I know what I have to do but I guess I am just looking for confirmation that I am on the right track. I have a 25 year old son who lives at home and he on methadone for herion addiction. He lost his job and I pay for the methadone. He has abused drugs since he was 15 years old and continues to do so while even on the methadone. It is so hard to admit this but I am scared of him. He begs me for money and if I do not give it to him he becomes violent and destroys things in my house. He cusses me, calls me names, and says he wishes I would die. He says I am the reason he is like he is. I realize there is a little truth there. I have enabled him for the last ten years. I am ashamed to admit, this has been going on for that long. He admitted the other day that he is taking methadone and shooting cocaine. I am scared of him but I still love him and want to help him! My adult daughter told me he and I are toxic to each other and I realize that is so true. I can not help him . </p><p></p><p>I guess are mothers have guilt but my guilt is that I have enabled him for so long that he does not believe any thing I say because I do not follow through. I know that I have no other choice. I know that I must call the police the next time he demands money, I do not give him and he becomes violent.</p><p></p><p>My question is: Do I want for it to happen or do I do something before it happens. Please do not say just tell him no when he asks for money, that does not do anything. He will not stop until I give him or call the police. And I am not sure he will stop then!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Wendy23, post: 664797, member: 17731"] I know what I have to do but I guess I am just looking for confirmation that I am on the right track. I have a 25 year old son who lives at home and he on methadone for herion addiction. He lost his job and I pay for the methadone. He has abused drugs since he was 15 years old and continues to do so while even on the methadone. It is so hard to admit this but I am scared of him. He begs me for money and if I do not give it to him he becomes violent and destroys things in my house. He cusses me, calls me names, and says he wishes I would die. He says I am the reason he is like he is. I realize there is a little truth there. I have enabled him for the last ten years. I am ashamed to admit, this has been going on for that long. He admitted the other day that he is taking methadone and shooting cocaine. I am scared of him but I still love him and want to help him! My adult daughter told me he and I are toxic to each other and I realize that is so true. I can not help him . I guess are mothers have guilt but my guilt is that I have enabled him for so long that he does not believe any thing I say because I do not follow through. I know that I have no other choice. I know that I must call the police the next time he demands money, I do not give him and he becomes violent. My question is: Do I want for it to happen or do I do something before it happens. Please do not say just tell him no when he asks for money, that does not do anything. He will not stop until I give him or call the police. And I am not sure he will stop then! [/QUOTE]
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