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Enabling Gone to Far
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 664802" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Hi Wendy,</p><p>First, it is not your fault that your son is a drug addict. Like SWOT said, you didn't stick the needle in his arm.</p><p></p><p>Yes, you have enabled him too long. This is not uncommon, you did this out of love in the beginning because you wanted to help him but over time it changed and now you do it out of fear.</p><p></p><p>You have taken a very important step, you realize that it's not working and something needs to change.</p><p></p><p>Your safety in your own home is top priority. If it were me I would contact the police right away and get an order of protection. Of course this is just a piece of paper but it's part of the process to start documenting your son's abusive behavior towards you. You need to be prepared, is there a room in your house that you can lock yourself in? You know your son and you know when he will be set off, go into a room you can lock yourself in, make sure you have your cell phone and call 911 and tell them you are in fear for your life, that your son is a violent drug addict. If you don't have room you can go to get out of the house get in your car and lock the doors. I would also keep a can of pepper spray with me. Yes, he's your son but if he's violent you have to protect yourself.</p><p></p><p>You need to change the locks on your house.</p><p></p><p></p><p>You may not think saying no does anything but it does. It gives you the power. I know it may not feel like it but it does. Your son is using fear and intimidation to control you. You can't change your son but you can change yourself and how you respond to your son.</p><p></p><p>I had to call the police on my son more than a few times. It's not something a parent wants to do but when you are in fear for your safety you have to do it.</p><p></p><p>Wendy, are you married? Is there anyone else besides your out of control son that lives with you?</p><p></p><p>I highly suggest you start attending Al-Anon meetings. You will find some wonderful support there.</p><p></p><p>You are not alone!! We are here for you.</p><p></p><p>Please keep posting and let us know how things are going.</p><p></p><p>Stay strong Wendy, you can do this!!</p><p></p><p>((HUGS)) to you.......................</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 664802, member: 18516"] Hi Wendy, First, it is not your fault that your son is a drug addict. Like SWOT said, you didn't stick the needle in his arm. Yes, you have enabled him too long. This is not uncommon, you did this out of love in the beginning because you wanted to help him but over time it changed and now you do it out of fear. You have taken a very important step, you realize that it's not working and something needs to change. Your safety in your own home is top priority. If it were me I would contact the police right away and get an order of protection. Of course this is just a piece of paper but it's part of the process to start documenting your son's abusive behavior towards you. You need to be prepared, is there a room in your house that you can lock yourself in? You know your son and you know when he will be set off, go into a room you can lock yourself in, make sure you have your cell phone and call 911 and tell them you are in fear for your life, that your son is a violent drug addict. If you don't have room you can go to get out of the house get in your car and lock the doors. I would also keep a can of pepper spray with me. Yes, he's your son but if he's violent you have to protect yourself. You need to change the locks on your house. You may not think saying no does anything but it does. It gives you the power. I know it may not feel like it but it does. Your son is using fear and intimidation to control you. You can't change your son but you can change yourself and how you respond to your son. I had to call the police on my son more than a few times. It's not something a parent wants to do but when you are in fear for your safety you have to do it. Wendy, are you married? Is there anyone else besides your out of control son that lives with you? I highly suggest you start attending Al-Anon meetings. You will find some wonderful support there. You are not alone!! We are here for you. Please keep posting and let us know how things are going. Stay strong Wendy, you can do this!! ((HUGS)) to you....................... [/QUOTE]
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