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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Enabling must stop .....I know
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 621765" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Are you in therapy? After the horrible trauma of losing your other son, I understand your fear. Of course, you can't save your 27 year old son by paying for him. Did he go to college or tech school? Does he work? Why is he so dependent on you? Most adults his age are out on their own and want it that way. Something doesn't add up...but, again, since you went through such a bad experience, I get your fear for him. Making him unable to care for himself, however, will not keep HIM alive or make him capable. I truly think the best thing you can do right now is focus on your own life and that means getting into serious therapy, maybe even group therapy too. Whatever you are most comfortable doing. This seems to be possibly more about your fears for him than him maybe????</p><p></p><p> Your son needs to want to get his life together or he won't. One day you won't be here to care for him. And you need to take good care of yourself while you ARE here and learn how to live again.Have you ever joined a grief group or a parets of suicide group to be with others who have gone through the horror that you did? We can give suggestions, but if we did not go through it, we can not in my opinion fairly understand your pain and the steps you must take to go through it.</p><p></p><p>Disclaimer: Anything I say is only my own opinion. Take what you like and leave the rest.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 621765, member: 1550"] Are you in therapy? After the horrible trauma of losing your other son, I understand your fear. Of course, you can't save your 27 year old son by paying for him. Did he go to college or tech school? Does he work? Why is he so dependent on you? Most adults his age are out on their own and want it that way. Something doesn't add up...but, again, since you went through such a bad experience, I get your fear for him. Making him unable to care for himself, however, will not keep HIM alive or make him capable. I truly think the best thing you can do right now is focus on your own life and that means getting into serious therapy, maybe even group therapy too. Whatever you are most comfortable doing. This seems to be possibly more about your fears for him than him maybe???? Your son needs to want to get his life together or he won't. One day you won't be here to care for him. And you need to take good care of yourself while you ARE here and learn how to live again.Have you ever joined a grief group or a parets of suicide group to be with others who have gone through the horror that you did? We can give suggestions, but if we did not go through it, we can not in my opinion fairly understand your pain and the steps you must take to go through it. Disclaimer: Anything I say is only my own opinion. Take what you like and leave the rest. [/QUOTE]
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Enabling must stop .....I know
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