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General Parenting
Enco w 15 year old - at my wits end
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<blockquote data-quote="BackintheSaddle" data-source="post: 618976" data-attributes="member: 17503"><p>wow, I have to say you're amazing to have stood it this long!...what is the husband's rationale for not seeking treatment? why are you cleaning up after the SS and not having husband do it, since he won't make SS do it? This has to be impacting SSs life outside of the home-- does he have friends? does he ever go anywhere with people? extended family who could intervene and talk to husband? it's as though they are both in denial of what sounds like a pretty serious medical problem (no different than being in denial about addiction, but I guess this isn't life threatening, other than in the sense that he will have NO LIFE if he doesn't get help for this)...does husband just think it will go away? I totally agree with you about accountability but since SS is 15, the accountability is mostly with husband so I would suggest thinking about what you're doing that helps him stay in denial about just how bad it is? in a sense, when you clean up after SS, you're enabling SH to not face the facts and severity of it...I know not cleaning up after SS would be hard and, if it were me, I think I'd have to go stay with a friend or in a hotel for a while (go on a trip, you don't have to call it a separation, just a break) just so husband had to face the fact that there is poop everywhere unless you're there to clean it up! Kudos to you for having stuck with them for 2 years! I don't think I could have done it...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BackintheSaddle, post: 618976, member: 17503"] wow, I have to say you're amazing to have stood it this long!...what is the husband's rationale for not seeking treatment? why are you cleaning up after the SS and not having husband do it, since he won't make SS do it? This has to be impacting SSs life outside of the home-- does he have friends? does he ever go anywhere with people? extended family who could intervene and talk to husband? it's as though they are both in denial of what sounds like a pretty serious medical problem (no different than being in denial about addiction, but I guess this isn't life threatening, other than in the sense that he will have NO LIFE if he doesn't get help for this)...does husband just think it will go away? I totally agree with you about accountability but since SS is 15, the accountability is mostly with husband so I would suggest thinking about what you're doing that helps him stay in denial about just how bad it is? in a sense, when you clean up after SS, you're enabling SH to not face the facts and severity of it...I know not cleaning up after SS would be hard and, if it were me, I think I'd have to go stay with a friend or in a hotel for a while (go on a trip, you don't have to call it a separation, just a break) just so husband had to face the fact that there is poop everywhere unless you're there to clean it up! Kudos to you for having stuck with them for 2 years! I don't think I could have done it... [/QUOTE]
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Enco w 15 year old - at my wits end
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