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Ending one horrible journey, beginning another.
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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 630034" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>WF, I'm so sorry. I could relate to your story in many ways. My sons is your son's age. When his drinking was at its worst, he said many of the kinds of things your son said about not wanting to go on. But he would not show up for counseling appointments and would abuse his medications. What alternatives are left for us at that point?</p><p></p><p>The last time I asked my son to move out, he left with no clothes and no belongings. When I went into his room that night to turn off his lamp, he had left a suicide note on his bedside table for me to find.</p><p></p><p>At that time, since I was paying for his phone, I could tell it was being used and I knew he left that note, that CRUEL NOTE, just to draw blood because he was mad at us.</p><p></p><p>When he left his last rehab, he did not tell us he was leaving. We found out several days later, from a third party, and did not know where he was or even if he was alive for over a month. In that month, I later found out, he moved in with some "friends" and had some very scary times before he realized they weren't really friends worth having.</p><p></p><p>But he had to find that out for himself. Nothing we could have said or done could POSSIBLY have made a difference. He had to see it, to live it, for himself. He had to see where that road leads and decide for himself whether or not he wanted to take it.</p><p></p><p>In my opinion you could not have let your son continue to live the way he was. You would be doing him, yourself, and your youngest a grave disservice by enabling him to continue his downward spiral. Unless he is inheriting a huge trust fund, he needs to work! And wealthy or not, isolating himself, stewing in anger and taking it out of the rest of you is not acceptable. And if he won't get help, the only thing left is to let him go, to let him see where that road leads.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 630034, member: 17720"] WF, I'm so sorry. I could relate to your story in many ways. My sons is your son's age. When his drinking was at its worst, he said many of the kinds of things your son said about not wanting to go on. But he would not show up for counseling appointments and would abuse his medications. What alternatives are left for us at that point? The last time I asked my son to move out, he left with no clothes and no belongings. When I went into his room that night to turn off his lamp, he had left a suicide note on his bedside table for me to find. At that time, since I was paying for his phone, I could tell it was being used and I knew he left that note, that CRUEL NOTE, just to draw blood because he was mad at us. When he left his last rehab, he did not tell us he was leaving. We found out several days later, from a third party, and did not know where he was or even if he was alive for over a month. In that month, I later found out, he moved in with some "friends" and had some very scary times before he realized they weren't really friends worth having. But he had to find that out for himself. Nothing we could have said or done could POSSIBLY have made a difference. He had to see it, to live it, for himself. He had to see where that road leads and decide for himself whether or not he wanted to take it. In my opinion you could not have let your son continue to live the way he was. You would be doing him, yourself, and your youngest a grave disservice by enabling him to continue his downward spiral. Unless he is inheriting a huge trust fund, he needs to work! And wealthy or not, isolating himself, stewing in anger and taking it out of the rest of you is not acceptable. And if he won't get help, the only thing left is to let him go, to let him see where that road leads. [/QUOTE]
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