Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Enemy of the State
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 641395" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Hi, Meghan!</p><p></p><p>Sorry, I come little late to this, but maybe you are still on board.</p><p></p><p>I'm really sorry you are going through this with your children. Alienation of children, even when they are already almost grown up, is unfortunately way too common in divorces. Having to prove oneself to be right and ex-spouse in wrong and using kids in it is just nasty. And it is unfortunate that your ex has found such a perfect weapon for it. What you are experiencing is just why personality disorders, and laymen 'diagnosing' them to their (former) loved ones or family members, are such a hot topic currently.</p><p></p><p>There is absolutely no way to defend yourself, when someone decides to slap you with personality disorder. Whatever you say or do can, and will, be looked through personality disorder lens, that makes everything, even most ordinary or even extraordinary kind or generous actions or words, look ugly. If you deny having a personality disorder, it is simply a proof you have it. If you are angry about being accused of having one, it is a proof and makes you dangerous. If you are calm, it is a proof and tells you are cold, callous and psychopathic. If you are nice, you are manipulating, if you are irritated you are in 'narcissistic rage', if people around you think you are a nice person, it is superficial charmingness and a proof of you being totally rotten and so on.</p><p></p><p>Of course now that people are dropping those personality disorder allegations left and right many people have gotten bit more cynical, when they hear someone telling how their ex (or mother or father or adult kid) is with personality disorder, but unfortunately many will believe even most insane accusations or at least think that even if it is totally true, there has to be something in it, because other party is making those accusations. If you have been in same community longer time, your previous good reputation will likely protect you some, because so many are throwing those laymen diagnosis of personality disorders around that many have started to think them as a joke, but unfortunately you daughters are likely to believe quite strongly to it. And there really isn't any effective way to defend yourself.</p><p></p><p>When they grow up little more, they are more likely to look back more independently and hopefully break out of the web of lies your ex has weaved for them. Till that you of course have every right to draw boundaries at what topics you will and won't discuss with them and how you allow them to treat you. I would not discuss with them at least about personality disorders, their father or what he thinks or anything related to him. I have to say I do not know your laws when it comes to slander and things like that, but it could maybe scare your daughters a bit and make them consider what kind of malicious and non-factual gossip they want to spread out, if you would tell them that you are considering consulting a lawyer regarding their uncle and his actions as medical professional and practises of ethical commission in his field and asking advice about defamation laws due to this untrue rumours concerning your medical situation.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 641395, member: 14557"] Hi, Meghan! Sorry, I come little late to this, but maybe you are still on board. I'm really sorry you are going through this with your children. Alienation of children, even when they are already almost grown up, is unfortunately way too common in divorces. Having to prove oneself to be right and ex-spouse in wrong and using kids in it is just nasty. And it is unfortunate that your ex has found such a perfect weapon for it. What you are experiencing is just why personality disorders, and laymen 'diagnosing' them to their (former) loved ones or family members, are such a hot topic currently. There is absolutely no way to defend yourself, when someone decides to slap you with personality disorder. Whatever you say or do can, and will, be looked through personality disorder lens, that makes everything, even most ordinary or even extraordinary kind or generous actions or words, look ugly. If you deny having a personality disorder, it is simply a proof you have it. If you are angry about being accused of having one, it is a proof and makes you dangerous. If you are calm, it is a proof and tells you are cold, callous and psychopathic. If you are nice, you are manipulating, if you are irritated you are in 'narcissistic rage', if people around you think you are a nice person, it is superficial charmingness and a proof of you being totally rotten and so on. Of course now that people are dropping those personality disorder allegations left and right many people have gotten bit more cynical, when they hear someone telling how their ex (or mother or father or adult kid) is with personality disorder, but unfortunately many will believe even most insane accusations or at least think that even if it is totally true, there has to be something in it, because other party is making those accusations. If you have been in same community longer time, your previous good reputation will likely protect you some, because so many are throwing those laymen diagnosis of personality disorders around that many have started to think them as a joke, but unfortunately you daughters are likely to believe quite strongly to it. And there really isn't any effective way to defend yourself. When they grow up little more, they are more likely to look back more independently and hopefully break out of the web of lies your ex has weaved for them. Till that you of course have every right to draw boundaries at what topics you will and won't discuss with them and how you allow them to treat you. I would not discuss with them at least about personality disorders, their father or what he thinks or anything related to him. I have to say I do not know your laws when it comes to slander and things like that, but it could maybe scare your daughters a bit and make them consider what kind of malicious and non-factual gossip they want to spread out, if you would tell them that you are considering consulting a lawyer regarding their uncle and his actions as medical professional and practises of ethical commission in his field and asking advice about defamation laws due to this untrue rumours concerning your medical situation. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Enemy of the State
Top