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Ethical Dilemma
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<blockquote data-quote="Stick a Fork in Me" data-source="post: 327286" data-attributes="member: 8590"><p>I think it's incredibly admirable that you would even think that there was any reason to even <em>consider </em>taking on the responsibility of your sibling - but at the end of the day I can't imagine any reason that you should.</p><p></p><p>I'm new here and my advice should definitely be taken with a grain of salt, but the one thing I'm learning is that as a parent I have to learn detachment and the art of letting my adult child be responsible for themselves. As a parent that is tremendously difficult... but must be done. As a sibling? It should be the same rule, and hopefully significantly easier to apply.</p><p></p><p>You can love your brother. Dearly. But there is not one reason on the planet you should take over where your parents left off with the enabling process. Even at 40 we can learn to be responsible for ourselves. When the gravy train ends, we learn to live on kibble if need be.</p><p></p><p>You matter. Your marriage matters. Your life matters. You have no need to sacrifice those things. Especially for someone who really shouldn't need the sacrifice.</p><p></p><p>The one place you can take over where your parents failed is by letting him fall... letting him learn to walk, and letting him find a life. On his own.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Again, I'm new and kind of an idiot at all of this, but my entire soul yells out "NO!" at the idea of you taking this on.</p><p></p><p>Run away. Run far, far away!!! LOL.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Stick a Fork in Me, post: 327286, member: 8590"] I think it's incredibly admirable that you would even think that there was any reason to even [I]consider [/I]taking on the responsibility of your sibling - but at the end of the day I can't imagine any reason that you should. I'm new here and my advice should definitely be taken with a grain of salt, but the one thing I'm learning is that as a parent I have to learn detachment and the art of letting my adult child be responsible for themselves. As a parent that is tremendously difficult... but must be done. As a sibling? It should be the same rule, and hopefully significantly easier to apply. You can love your brother. Dearly. But there is not one reason on the planet you should take over where your parents left off with the enabling process. Even at 40 we can learn to be responsible for ourselves. When the gravy train ends, we learn to live on kibble if need be. You matter. Your marriage matters. Your life matters. You have no need to sacrifice those things. Especially for someone who really shouldn't need the sacrifice. The one place you can take over where your parents failed is by letting him fall... letting him learn to walk, and letting him find a life. On his own. Again, I'm new and kind of an idiot at all of this, but my entire soul yells out "NO!" at the idea of you taking this on. Run away. Run far, far away!!! LOL. [/QUOTE]
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